Saturday, October 25, 2008

MICROWAVE TOOTHBRUSHES? WHAT NEXT?

Peeps, I saw this and all I could think about was Stupid Stupid! How much more stupidity can we take in this world! Correct me if I am wrong, but aren't most toothbrushes hard plastic? I think the smell and the possible toxic fumes burning in my microwave would make me sick before a toothbrush would, and I have NEVER IN MY LIFE HEARD OF SOMEONE GETTING SICK BECAUSE OF A STUPID TOOTHBRUSH!

God you people are sooo stupid! "Scream" What are we going to be doing next, frying our underwear in the microwave to kill the germs? Maybe you could nuke your dentures if you have them! LOL!

Look peeps! If you are spotted sneaking your toothbrushes in the microwave, then you are just as "Stupid" as the idiot that wrote this article.

I wonder if I nuke a cigarette for 10 sec, would it kill the bad effects of nicotine. I will try it and let my peeps know what happens. LOL
Nuke those toothbrushes

CHAT BUDDY'S BEWARE

Peeps, I'm going to make this short and sweet! A dear southern baptist friend of mine was chatting with me the other night and preceded to tell me a very personal story. We talked about the weather, the state of the union, cars, trucks, and of course "Stupid people" Now, you all know I am on the lookout for stupidity in it's rarest form, right? Well this; simply put "Reeks stupidity". I won't bore you with all the details but she had went to a friends house for dinner. The menu consisted of Lasagna and garlic bread. Well about 15 minutes into the meal, my friend had to...well you know.....shit! LOL! She excused herself feeling bad that she was about to "blow up" her friends bathroom as there were a lot of guest there, but she had no other choice other than to let it fly in her pantyhose! LOL
My friend was sitting there on her friends toilet, water running to kill the noise, when out of nowhere she feels something tap her high hill.....My friend said she looked down and there were two little mice standing at her feet looking up! And then the scurried to the door, turned around and scurried back toward her. Now at that instant fear griped her insides, as well as muscle spasms of the bowel! LOL Her only choice, sit there and let the mice eat her alive! Or jump up and run. And you all can imagine what she did! LOL. End of story? No! As she jumped up, the volcano erupted but it was just in time for her to snatch her pantyhose up close enough to catch the muddy waterfall! LOL! End of story? no. The screams brought the entire party to the bathroom door just in time to see my friend open the window and throw her mud soaked pantyhose out the window, onto the lawn! LOL. Peeps, if you ever have to "shit" that bad at a friends party, excuse yourself and drive to the nearest gas station, and if there isn't one near, take a stroll into the woods and get in touch with nature as God intended! But never ever take a shit on your friend's bathroom floor! LOL "Stupid"

Thursday, October 23, 2008

RANDOM THOUGHTS....

Morning peeps! Long night working 12 hours at the "Big house"....All story's for another day! Well let's what can I bitch about today? My ice cold steak biscuit from Bojangles? The crazy lady at the gas station that smelled as if she had just stepped out a brewery at 730 in the damn morning? Hey! I could bitch about the 69 spam emails that I got over night on myspace? Better yet I could go on all day about the dirty freaking dishes my dear children left for me to wash this morning? I have yet to figure out why children need six glasses to drink cool aid out of! Oh and there is the weeks worth of laundry that I had to come home and wash! Being a single father with four kids is starting to get to me! Joe thinks I need anger management, I say I need to run away to Florida and lay around on the beach being a worthless bum for the rest of my life! I am still fuming about that crazy old bag from Ohio that stole the kids football, I wonder how stupid she feels with all the press attention? I have a pretty funny e-mail from Linda in my in box about Mr. Tom from Myspace, so I guess I will just let all the crap that I should be doing go, and post it for the world to read! Later Peeps! GJ.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

TOM WORKS AT LOWES?

Ok…this is getting bad, I had a call this morning and had to call a store and what happened. Installed Sales, this is TOM>…I could hardly contain my laughter. Posted by Linda

THIS LADY HAS TO BE "TOM'S" GRANNY

OK peeps now I am pissed! I was driving home from Charlotte this morning, I received a hot tip that TOM fly's into Charlotte Douglas every morning and gets coffee from Starbucks. But once again, TOM didn't show and I wasted my time!

On with the story!

This Story comes from BLUE ASH, OH. This 85 year old woman is facing charges for taking a football from her neighbors children. Here is the story!

She took a teenager's ball and wouldn't give it back. Now 89 year-old Edna Jester from Blue Ash is facing charges.

Thursday, Blue Ash Police arrested Jester for petty theft after taking her teenage neighbor's football that was in her yard.

"I was giving it back sooner or later, but not right now so they could make a laughing stock out of me," Jester said.

"Taken down and interrogated, a 90 year-old lady. It almost hits home like this is the United States, this can't happen and this is absolutely ridiculous," said neighbor Kevin Pike.

OK! they arrested this old lady for taking the football and made her a laughing stock to the entire country. THIS OLD CRAZY LADY IS JUST STUPID AND SHOULD GO TO JAIL! How harmless is it for a damn football to lay in her yard? I mean it's not like a brick of crack lying there! Or better yet those kids could be harassing her by doing things I did as a kid!

  1. Kicking in her basement windows.
  2. Spray painting her house.
  3. Shoveling dirt on her front porch while she takes her evening nap.
  4. Putting cow patty's in her mailbox?
I mean, come on! what has the world came to? A freaking football! What planet does this stupid ass live on? Today's kids as selling drugs, involved in all sorts of gang activity, committing random acts of violence, robbery's but most of all no respect for parents, teachers or anybody else for that matter, And she is out to get these kids, for a freaking football laying in her yard! These kids should be praised for being normal kids! And kudos's to the parents of these kids! You ROCK!

Solution to the problem! Hey! you crazy old bat! Make the kid's some iced tea and cookies and tell them story's about the way things used to be! Tell them about the great depression, all the world wars, stimulate their mind with your knowledge, DON'T PUNISH THEM FOR BEING KIDS! YOU ARE STUPID LADY!! YOU COULD BE MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN THESE KIDS LIVES, BUT YOU ARE IN YOUR OWN LITTLE WORLD WATCHING EVERYTHING ELSE HAPPEN! BE THE CHANGE STUPID ASS!

I HAVE TO GO NOW, BECAUSE I AM PISSED! PEEPS! HAVE A GREAT DAY! AND IF YOU LIVE NEAR THIS OLD BAG, GO TO WALMART, BUY A 5 DOLLAR FOOTBALL, WRITE "STUPID" ON IT, AND THROW IT IN HER YARD!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

YOUVE GOT A FRIEND IN TOM!

Tribute to TOM from myspace! LOL STUPID

SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THESE

Morning peeps! Last night as most of you have already read, I started on a mission to find Tom and get him to show himself to all the thousands of myspace followers, or should I say millions.

Anyway I laid down for a peaceful nights rest, and who invades my sleep? You would think that it would be Cher, (my future wife), all dressed up in her TURN BACK TIME outfit?

You would think that I would have nice sweet dreams about my stupid blog and how I can generate millions of readers with a single post? but no peeps! You guessed it. Mr. Tom has invaded my dreams.

I took it in, (southern term for going to bed by the way) about 3am, I was hopelessly bored waiting for Barb, one of my favorite critics of stupid, to e-mail me, so I gave up and drifted into a comatose state of sleep.

The nightmare starts with me running through a dimly lite street, with lots of fog, just like in the movies. I hear footsteps, so i start to run faster. I see an opening to what looks like an Irish bar, and attempt to go inside, but the doors locked.

So with a few Irish curse words I take off running, terrified. I look over my shoulder and who do I see chasing me? Tom with a sword! Laughing this hideous laugh. Just as I think I can't run from this fool any longer and that Tom from myspace is going to chop off my head, I wake up sweaty and take a deep breath!

Sigh! So peeps, I think I found Tom. In my freaking dreams! LOL Have a great day peeps! Look for "Stupid" it's all around us! And if you see Tom, e-mail me:) LOL

TOM SPOTTED HIDING IN THE BACK OF BOSS HOG'S CAR LIKE OJ!

"Just the the good ole boys" I knew it! Hiding Tom from myspace!

SEE TOM EVEN WENDY'S WANTS TO KNOW

Where's the beef TOM?
Show us your singing ability's TOM
"Stupid"

Monday, October 20, 2008

TOM FROM MYSPACE


Evening peeps! I had a great evening watching my daughter preform in her high school show choir concert. She and all the others looked and sounded good. I drive home and sit down to check myspace and what do I see as soon as I sign in? TOM posted a nice bulletin telling all myspacers about a new service they offer; see below.

Oct 20, 8:00pm PT

MySpace Karaoke now let's you record video! Grab a webcam and record yourself singing Coldplay's newest hits “Viva La Vida” and “Lost!” Or the new Christina Milian single “Us Against the World” (from MySpace Records, of course).

We're also having an exclusive singing contest featuring Jesse McCartney! Winning performances will be chosen by Jesse himself! The contest begins today, so click here to start singing. Don't have the guts? Watch how others are doing it.

Geez can you imagine what is going to become of this? As soon as Sammy saw it, she began howling indicating "stupid is near" and I was right! My question to you Mr. No one has ever received a comment from Tom, are you going to grace us with your singing ability's? Hint Hint? Or are you going to continue in hiding? Some even suggest that Tom is the Antichrist! LOL! I say that Tom is "stupid" for hiding from so many that just want to know if he is real! I cant seem to grasp why someone with so much power and like a gazillion dollars in savings remains so elusive. I mean just imagine if Tom in all his power posted a bulletin complaining about the price of gas? Our government would crumble, because all the "Stupid" people who don't have clue...Paris and Brittany would take notice and then the world would change! So come on man! Stop playing games! Show yourself on myspace karaoke with a nice rendition of "Just the good ole boys" Never meaning no harm! (Dukes of hazard theme) and lets get this party started! Tom you are "Stupid"


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STUPID GOATS SPOTTED AT APPLEBEES

I had to re-post this as It drew the most attention and laughs from all who read it. I was sitting in Applebee's eating with a good friend of mine who is not from this area. I was sitting at the bar(only place you can smoke in Applebee's "stupid" story for another day") eating some boneless buffalo wings and sipping on my iced tea. ok?

I hear this chirping noise to my left; and you all know me, I'm gonna look:). So I turn to my left, the guy sitting next to me is eating a green leafy chicken something salad, I dunno what it was, but whatever, it was a salad.


He had salad dressing running down his chin, and was chewing those big leafy leaves like a damn goat! LOL! OMG! I laughed so hard. You peeps will never know the joy this man brought to my life sitting at that bar! I had to go outside so I could breath.

Then I tryed to take a picture of him with my cellphone! but of course, me not wishing to draw attention myself just sat there and waited until he was done, so I could finish my dinner. The funny part came when my quiet friend got so irritated at the sound of the "goat eating" that he blurted out for all to hear!
"How much is it to ask that stupid people don't do that in public?

If they are going to chew like a goat, please go eat with them instead of other humans.
Then he looks at me and say's, "Now there is something stupid to write about." And that's what I did. Peeps please chew with your mouth closed! (I love stupid people:)

HOW NOT TO TAKE A PICTURE


Look peeps! All I can say about this is "STUPID" LOL


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FUN THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU ARE BORED

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of STUPIDITY

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Smuggling Diamonds'
7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

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