Friday, October 31, 2008

BLACK FRIDAY

Evening peeps! It's been a long day. I have been surfing the internet looking for deals as the holiday season is almost upon us. I hate the holidays and all the commercialism that is attached to it. But that's a story for another day. I worked as a retail supervisor for almost 7 years, and I never missed a Black Friday. When I was in retail, I would have gotten fired for what I am about to say. For many years I wanted to say these things to everyone, and now the time has come. I will be brief as I intended not to bore my avid readers. I would advise getting a notepad and paper and take notes so you don't look stupid as hell on black Friday.

Things that you should NOT do while acting like a stupid on black Friday.
  1. Please get up that morning and brush your teeth, as cashiers can smell your breath while you are trying to haggle them on the price.
  2. Don't push to get in the door, no running dumb asses, all the stuff you are running after is cheap and worthless, the retail industry makes you think you are getting a deal.
  3. Please bring your ID, stupid ! Most retail stores check ID's now. And when you get all bitchy about them asking for your ID, just think some crackhead could have stolen your credit card, or even your identity. Trust me, teenage cashiers have no desire to see how old your ugly ass is.
  4. If you are looking for retail stores to give you FREE stuff, then stay at home and watch the parade.
  5. Call your financial institution a couple days before black Friday and let them know that you plan on maxing out your credit cards. This way when your shit is declined at the register, you won't stand there and huff and puff because you think the cashier has done something wrong.
  6. Keep your receipts for the next week when you realize that you didn't pay your bills and need to return some things. This can avoid you looking stupid at the return counter.
  7. If at all possible, don't wear those ugly Christmas shirts that light up and play music with a manger scene! If you do just realize that you are the blunt of many jokes!
  8. If you must be out and about, drive carefully in the parking lots, as I had to give CPR in 2000 to an old lady that was ran down in parking lot by a stupid speeding to get the last PlayStation 2. She shopped while the paramedics tended to the old lady.
  9. If you are stupid enough to still write paper checks, be advised that equifax has to approve these checks, and most of you have written bad checks in the past. So when they are declined don't cusrse at the cashier. They arent the idiot, you are.
  10. Last but no least! stay AT home on black Friday. Shop online, or don't shop at all. It's people like you that have put the "Stupid" in Christmas.

IT HAPPENED AGAIN AT MICKEY DEES

It never fails! I pulled in Mcdonalds parking lot today cuz my daughter was texting me over and over again. So rather than crash head on with anothercar and kill myself, I pulled into the parking lot. I was typing away on that little phone when I hear a horn honking! And y'all know me...I'm going to look! And what do I see? A Geo metro with a little skinny kid puttering through the parking lot and this Chevy cobalt with a young girl who looked more like a whale than a human being! She was honking the horn at this car barley moving, she had her fat head out the window and was yelling Go! Go! Needless to say she went around him. End of story? No, A few minutes later after the conversation was done with my daughter through text, I was pulling around the building headed to the exit and what cuts me off? The whale in the Colbalt gassing it, pulling out of the drive thur. She was in such a hurry. So before I could get out of my car, we are now at the exit waiting to pull out into traffic, I see her face in the side mirror on her car, and what is this stupid ass doing? She has an ice cream cone right, and with one big gulp, she swolled the damn thing whole and at that moment she gassed it again and I swear it looked as if she was going to flip that little car carrying so much meat! LOL. To the fat ass speed deamon at Mcdonalds, you are stupid as hell, and should be stranded on a desert island with nothing but water and bread. Your fat ass was rude and selfish! All that nosie for a damn ice cream cone that you didn't even enjoy! You are one of the stupidest people I have ever saw IN A PUBLIC PLACE!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL STUPIDITY COULD HAVE KILLED MILLIONS

DENVER – A fire caused $1 million worth of damage at an unmanned underground nuclear launch site last spring, but the Air Force didn't find out about it until five days later, an Air Force official said Thursday.

NO WORDS NEEDED LOL STUPID!

THIS STUPID SHOULD BE IN JAIL


Can someone please walk by this man and kick him in the face while screaming "Get off your lazy ass and get a job, stupid" Geezzz peeps

HOW IT ALL ENDS! NOV 4TH

WHOLE NEW MEANING TO BURN IN HELL

Look peeps! This is just plain stupid! Sometimes I wonder what in the hell people are thinking when they do shit like this! This world is so full of "stupid" people, that I think I am going to have to stop writing about stupids, as the doctor say's I have high blood pressure! I wonder why, look at this stupid shit.

PS.. I wonder if that is the creators of myspace having a company pool party?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

RULES TO LIVE BY

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE "STUPID" REMEDIES

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE IN YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES; NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS.

LEAF BLOWERS GONE BAD

OK peeps! On Saturday I arrived home from a very long work week. I had been out most of the night Friday doing so much needed r an r at my friendly neighborhood apple bees. I arrive home only to find my home in complete disarray.

Dishes all over the place, cupcakes on the couch, nasty laundry all over the bathroom floor, as well as dishes all over the living room! All my kids camped out on the living room floor! It was a "Party" so to speak and man did they party! They ate pizza and cupcakes watched movies and enjoyed themselves to the fullest! I was tired and overwhelmed at everything I had to get done, so in all my wisdom, and my knack for getting things done as efficiently as possible, I brought in the big boy! The good for everything leaf blower!

In my mind I could open the doors and "blow" all the crap out, therefore eliminating all the other things I would have done to get the house in tip top shape! Well peeps! As all my children stood in utter amazement at dad's way of getting things done, I was dodging pictures that flew off the walls, carpet that was ripped up from the floor like hurricane IKE was in my living room, dishes that flew out of the dish strainer, and of course Sammy hiding in the bathtub like my home was under attack!

The dust storm I created was bigger than anything you could possible see in the dessert. Needless to say I spent the rest of the weekend cleaning up after the leaf blower! Now I am at home and all seems to be well. I learned a hard lesson this weekend, and so did my children. They swear that I am clinically depressed and should seek medical attention.

I say that you live and you learn. Now I am going to sleep, as I worked all night at the "big house." And to the "stupids" at Bojangles that I go to every morning after work, YOU ARE STUPID! I am sick of my steak biscuit being cold and dry! I say you should be shut down for serving such shit as this to hard working people! You are STUPID.

Monday, October 27, 2008

ONLY IN AMERICA

Morning peeps! I woke up in a bad mood this morning! I had a bad experience with a leaf blower over the weekend (story for another day) My thoughts today go out to all the parents that are raising children alone. I am forever doing what needs to be done to ensure that my children are well taken care of. Although I am blessed in many ways, I know that other single parents are not! Only in America do we have fathers as well as mothers that live their lives day to day and never think about the children that they have left behind. Although they may think about their children, they are not there for them. They are not there to see them cry to see them win, they are not there to look at their report cards, to hear them laugh, sing, to share in the experience we call living. Only in America is it OK for parents to have children, and never share in the responsibility of raising them. Many night's I have sat with my daughter and just talked about various things. My oldest son is getting ready to ship out as property of the United States Government and that bothers me a little, but I know he will be OK. But what really pisses me off is that fact that he will never be able to experience what it is like to have a mother that cares for him. I can only do so much as father. I look at my 11 year old son, who has only seen his mom in the last two years maybe three times, and it really pisses me off! A grown women who cares more about her own life just to walk away and never attempt to even call her kids on the phone! This should be a federal crime punishable by life in prison! OK, I am going to shut up before I get myself in trouble! Hats off to parents that do give a shit about their children. To all the other worthless pieces of crap, you are no better than the dirt underneath my feet, and you are the ones that lose. And it would not be cool for me not to shout as loud as I can "Stupid, Stupid, Stupid"

TOM SPOTTED IN USA TODAY


Everything I ever thought about Tom and Myspace is true. Tom is in hiding and this proves it! We all have made him millions of dollars and he can't even show himself. He hates us and thinks we are "STUPID" I say we all pick a day next week and delete our myspace accounts for 48 hours and demand that TOM show himself! Even the corporate office of myspcase is hidden. Empoyess are sworn to secrecy! This sounds like some AREA 51 shit to me! And TOM you are still STUPID!

The guys behind MySpace.com
SANTA MONICA, Calif. — The founders of MySpace wish they had a little more space of their own. The outpouring of interest in MySpace has been so strong DeWolfe and Anderson won't even list the company's name on the office lobby directory. Employees shuffle quietly in an out of an unmarked door. As a condition of agreeing to cooperate with this story, the company said no information could be provided about its location other than it's in Santa Monica.

It's not that DeWolfe, 40, and Anderson, 29, are unfriendly, standoffish or anti-social. It's just that the groundswell of interest in the website they created has overwhelmed them.

USA TODAY

Sunday, October 26, 2008

TOM AS A CHILD




TOMS GRANNY A DUDE?

And I just noticed that "granny looks like a dude" LOL I think maybe she wanted to play football with them, and got pissed when they said no! That's why she took the ball

GRANNY LOOKS LIKE A DUDE!

UPDATE IN TOMS GRANNY

Can you believe that the charges were dropped, and she still didn't give the football back? She has been stealing things for years! Read the story! I bet she steals steak knives from the local steak house too! Stupid Ass needs to get a life! STUPID!

The Blue Ash city solicitor and the city prosecutor have decided to drop a misdemeanor theft charge, something she was slapped with after she refused to give a 13-year-old neighborhood boy his football back.

The ball, in fact, is part of a larger collection - three other balls and a Frisbee - that Jester has kept from her neighbors, the Tanis children, over the years.

IF YOU BUY TOLIET PAPER YOU MIGHT BE STUPID!

What up Peeps? Busy busy Saturday as well as Saturday night. A dad's work is never done! As I was working all day on Saturday, my mind was racing with thoughts. Thought's about all the crap that I have to get done. I really wanted to strip my shirt off and go clean my car as I used to do in the good ole day's, but there was just to much laundry to do! Most of you know that I am a single father raising numerous children. And I might add, no assistance. Anyway back to the story! As I was thinking and trying to sing along with Cher on the I pod, I noticed something horrible on what I thought was clean laundry. Now some of you "women" might look upon this as common everyday occurrence's, but I do not, and I intended to find a solution to the problem, after all that's what dad's do, right? There were several pair of what are supposed to be snow white colored undergarment's, but in the back I noticed that several pair had what looked like "tire" marks I used to leave on the road when I was spinning my Iroc down the highway. I will just refer to them as "stains" LOL. So here I am freaking out. And what do I do? I sign on to myspace looking for women to help me try and figure out what to do. And none of you had a solution to my problem! Most just laughed like it was no biggie.

You all know me, I have a solution! When a baby craps in there diaper, we grab these moist little sweet smelling wipes and clean the baby's butt, right? Isn't that what we do? People in nursing homes are cleaned with these moist little things too. So why in the hell do we as "adults" not use these baby wipes to clean ourselves? To me it would be easier and cleaner to use these instead of the hard, crisp cardboard called Charmin to clean our asses! I thought about this all night! Do we just like walking around after crapping and not really feeling clean? I searched the internet and found that they have toilets that spray's water up to your ass and cleans you as soon as you are done with your deposit! I pulled out my credit card and was going to buy it until I saw the cost of it. So peeps, with all that said, I will be buying baby wipes in my home from this day froward! No more Charmin for my family! And no more "dark nights" in the back of my kid's underoo's! LOL

And just in case you are wondering what I did with the undergarment's, they are in the trash bin along with all the toilet paper. I am dad! And this is what I do! Later Peeps