Evening peeps! It's been a long day. I have been surfing the internet looking for deals as the holiday season is almost upon us. I hate the holidays and all the commercialism that is attached to it. But that's a story for another day. I worked as a retail supervisor for almost 7 years, and I never missed a Black Friday. When I was in retail, I would have gotten fired for what I am about to say. For many years I wanted to say these things to everyone, and now the time has come. I will be brief as I intended not to bore my avid readers. I would advise getting a notepad and paper and take notes so you don't look stupid as hell on black Friday.
Things that you should NOT do while acting like a stupid on black Friday.
- Please get up that morning and brush your teeth, as cashiers can smell your breath while you are trying to haggle them on the price.
- Don't push to get in the door, no running dumb asses, all the stuff you are running after is cheap and worthless, the retail industry makes you think you are getting a deal.
- Please bring your ID, stupid ! Most retail stores check ID's now. And when you get all bitchy about them asking for your ID, just think some crackhead could have stolen your credit card, or even your identity. Trust me, teenage cashiers have no desire to see how old your ugly ass is.
- If you are looking for retail stores to give you FREE stuff, then stay at home and watch the parade.
- Call your financial institution a couple days before black Friday and let them know that you plan on maxing out your credit cards. This way when your shit is declined at the register, you won't stand there and huff and puff because you think the cashier has done something wrong.
- Keep your receipts for the next week when you realize that you didn't pay your bills and need to return some things. This can avoid you looking stupid at the return counter.
- If at all possible, don't wear those ugly Christmas shirts that light up and play music with a manger scene! If you do just realize that you are the blunt of many jokes!
- If you must be out and about, drive carefully in the parking lots, as I had to give CPR in 2000 to an old lady that was ran down in parking lot by a stupid speeding to get the last PlayStation 2. She shopped while the paramedics tended to the old lady.
- If you are stupid enough to still write paper checks, be advised that equifax has to approve these checks, and most of you have written bad checks in the past. So when they are declined don't cusrse at the cashier. They arent the idiot, you are.
- Last but no least! stay AT home on black Friday. Shop online, or don't shop at all. It's people like you that have put the "Stupid" in Christmas.