Saturday, January 24, 2009

EVER WONDERED WHATS ON THE OTHER SIDE

MOUNT RUSHMORE
Dont be stupid!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

THE WORD FROM ALASKA

A law in Fairbanks, Alaska, does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.

THE CRADLE OF THE WORLD BELIEVED

Being intoxicated had desirable spiritual significance to the ancient Egyptians. They often gave their children names like "How Drunk is Cheops" or "How Intoxicated is Hathor."

Dont be stupid!

Mr C WANTS TO KNOW IF

Cat urine glows under a black-light!

Dont be stupid!

THE JOKES ON US

DAMN IT'S COLD
Dont be stupid!

NO REALLY NOTHING HAS CHANGED HERE

In 1902- One in ten US adults couldn't read or write. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Dont be stupid!

THE YEAR 1902 WAS THE SHIT

In 1902 The population of Las Vegas Nevada was 30. This was Cher's entire family. They own it peeps! LOL

Dont be stupid!

THINGS WERE SO MUCH EAISER IN 1902

In the year 1902-Most women only washed their hair once a month and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Hasn't changed that much in 2008. LOL

Dont be stupid!

WHAT DID WE DO BEFORE CELL PHONES

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone. A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars. 1900

Dont be stupid!


Lifesize Celebrity & Movie Cutouts - Standups

BUSHES MOTHER SPOTTED IN FLORIDA GETTING HER HAIR DONE

BOYNTON BEACH, Fla. – An elderly woman in Palm Beach County crashed with her vehicle into a man on a scooter and then kept driving to make her hair appointment, police said.

Ms Bush, 77, was arrested Thursday for leaving the scene of an injury crash, Boynton Beach police said. She had to have been drunk, just like her son George was for 8 years! LOL


NOW PEEPS I ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR WITH SAMMY LAUGHING UNCONTROBALLY. THIS BLUE HAIRED BITCH RAN HIM OVER AND THEN SPED OFF TO HER HAIR APPT. LOL MUST HAVE BEEN BARBRA BUSH. NOT LAURA BUT THE OLD BAG THAT HAD GEORGE. LOL STUPID!
Dont be stupid!

WHERE IS THAT DAMN TOLIET PAPER

DAMIT I KNOW IT'S HERE SOMEWHERE. HONEY I THOUGHT YOU LEFT YOUR PHONE AT MCDONALDS. LOL

Dont be stupid!

DRUNKS IN THE GROCERY STORE LOL

Peeps, can we all say loud and clear! YOU ARE A DRUNK THAT NEEDS SERIOUS HELP AND YOU ARE IN THE WRONG ISLE, DEPENDS ARE ON ILSE 9 SHITBAG, OOPS! MY BAD. I MEANT TO SAY PISSBAG! lol ROMALOL.
Dont be stupid!

THIS MAN HAD THE SECRET ALL ALONG CHEAP GAS

Peeps I hear that this actually works. But only with Bud light. ROMALOL. I am going to try and see if this works. Even the experts say that the solution to all of mankind's problems lies in nature.
Dont be stupid!

OH LOOK HONEY IT'S BLUBBER THE WHALE


Dont be stupid!

FEMALE IT PROFESSIONALS THAT WORK FOR LOWES


Dont be stupid!

WALMART MOWERS CAN KILL BECAUSE THEY WERE MADE IN INDIA

Thought y'all should read this in case you're thinking of installing an electric fence! We have the standard 6ft. Fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the
entire city.

To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence. Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence.

I then used an 8 ft. Long ground round, drove 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.


One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-mart big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger.

I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems
as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all.

Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 gigavolt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an
upside down cow on fire on the cover.

Time stood still. The first thing I notice is my balls trying to climb up the front side of my body. My
ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in
the backside of my brain.

Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with
the engine. It seems as though the fence charger and the POS lawnmower
were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.

Science says you cannot poop and pee at the same time.. I beg to differ.Not only did I do all at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second.

It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was soclose together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.

I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences... But Dad always had those POS chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled.

This I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas.

'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it.

Covered in poop & pee, and with my balls on my chest I think 'Oh God please die... Pleeeeze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor
waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot.


So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day... He left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the
misery my own stupidity had created.

I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire... I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned.

There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny
dead spot were the wire had layed while I was on the ground still holding on to it.

I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things.

1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.

2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek
(not the left, just the right).

3- Poop & pee when mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might
think.

4- My left eye will not open.

5- My right eye will not close.

6- The lawnmower runs like a spotted ape now. Seriously! I think our
little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it
was better than new after that.

7- My balls are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot
long

8- I can turn on the TV in the gameroom by farting while thinking of
the number 4 (still don't understand this?)

That day changed my life. I now have a new found respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.

The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to
triple check before I mow.

Posted by McBride

Dont be stupid!

Monday, January 19, 2009

WITH ARMS WIDE OPEN

Stupidity, greed, and danger for the past 8 years has effected our country and the world in a fashion that is the closest horror of the Holocaust. I realize my last statement will perhaps upset many people, but I always have shared my feelings with total honesty and passion.

America's so called president Bush and our most dangerous Vice President Cheney have single-handily raped our country and the world. The two of them also destroyed any “hope and vision” each individual would normally have to reach a solid and safe goal and or retirement.

The “disgrace” Bush and Cheney brought to the “table” was pure poison. Unfortunately, the residual effects of their antics will last for many years....but, ONLY one more day for our new President, Obama, and our new Vice President Binden to be sworn in!!

I can say with absolute confidence that Obama and Binden will initially bring “vision” back since American's have been “blind” sided by Bush and Cheney.

Obama, in my opinion will be the great “unifier” in every step he makes. (we all should think this way also) I have never felt this passionate and confident in my entire voting life. Obama will bring back pride in being an American after 8 years of so many of us have lost the pride and lost jobs!!!!!

Obama and Biden can bring change if we have trust in his walk.....of course their will be problems, and we won't agree with everything....but his actions are for the American's and not for himself.....that's one of the biggest differences between the outgoing party and the incoming party. (I want to tell you, I am not a “party” person. I vote for the individual).

The best way to escape evil is to pursue good......Obama, our great “unifier” pursues goodness, and will work hard to erase the past “evilness” and “stupidity”.

Writing this was not designed to offend anyone. I am thankful I have the freedom of speech. Our forefathers gave us this “gift” not Bush.

Let us all pray for our incoming president and vice president and pray for their safety. Please look at Obama as a man who has a dream just like you.....

Jackie Trudel-Lane

Posted by Ms Jackie a dear friend of mine! You rock Ms J. Thanks. Mr C :)

Dont be stupid!

FEMALE VERISON OF MR C


Its in the eyes! My life!

MR C ASK A QUESTION

If you were stranded in a desert island with only ten thousand plastic spoons, what would you do with them?

Dont be stupid!

MR C THINKS THIEVES ARE STUPID

Evening peeps! I have been up most of the night as I have to work the graveyard shift for the next two days. I must apologize that I have neglected stupid for a bit, but I have been busy getting my business off the ground.

So listen closely to this story, as it pissed me off so bad. I am sitting at my favorite hang out (Applebees) chilling with the peeps that come there almost nightly.

To my right there is this man who is dressed like he's ready to hold a business meeting and he is staring at me for like 10 minutes- well you all know what I am about to do right? LOL

I sat there and tried to blow cigarette smoke over in his direction to create a cloud of smoke to blind him! But to no avail. Every time I opened my mouth, this stupid ass looked as if he wanted to jump in. So one with the story.

I received my food and this fuck is still staring. I started to think that maybe he was deaf (no pun intended) and was just trying to read my lips, as most people love it when I am talking. lol

Right as I am about to say something this stupid ass gets up from the bar, and walks right out the door! The bartender starts yelling, he didn't pay, he didn't pay! LOL So now I am about to choke on spinach dip, when ruthless Larry jumps up from the bar and heads for the door!

Larry is in his 50s and country as hell! LOL nobody is going to fuck with the bartender lady at Applebees if Larry has anything to do with it! So out goes Larry to chase this business man down and bring him back to Applebees so we all can beat his ass!

At this point the entire restaurant is involved in Mr Business man not paying his bill! All the excitement was really getting to me, and I just sat there and enjoyed my dip. It was better than being in the movie theaters.

Just picture six redneck women with country accents that emulate Reece Witherspoon in Walk the line, oh and if you have not seen the movie, you are stupid because it's a really great movie.

Suddenly Larry comes back in and he looks sad because he could not keep up with Mr business man, Larry didn't want to run a red light, so the man got away! Bummer.

So with that Peeps, Mr C has something to say to the staring business man who is stupid.

Mr Business man, you are a worthless shit bag! You stole from Applebees, and you stole from the people who work there, and the people that eat there. Applebees owes you nothing dumb ass!

It would be in your best interest to never go back in there, because they all will remember you as you stare at people like a retarded dumb ass!

And if Larry is there, your ass will surely get beat down. You are stupid and should mail a check to Ally for the stuff you stole! They had to pay your bill!

And they have your coat dumb ass! You left it!

ROMALOL

YOU ARE STUPID

Dont be stupid!

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