Saturday, May 16, 2009

SRI LANKA SAYS THE TIGERS HAVE BEEN DEFEATED! YAY!

COLOMBO (Reuters) – Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajapaksa on Saturday said the Tamil Tigers had been militarily defeated as soldiers seized control of the entire coastline for the first time in a 25-year war.

Rajapaksa Shamalama-Dingdong voiced relief as he confessed "you have no idea how vicious their claws are, I'm glad I won't have to feel them again!" Shown above is the commander of the Tigers, cornered and held at bay with the secret finger-monster weapon of Sri Lanka.


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BALD EAGLES, SYMBOL OF AMERICAN GOVERNMENT IN ALL WAYS : NOW BENT ON EXTERMINATING OTHER SPECIES!

PORTLAND, Maine – Bald eagles, bouncing back after years of decline, are swaggering forth with an appetite for great cormorant chicks that threatens to wipe out that bird population in the United States.

Much like our government which apparently feeds on the weak and endangered common people, our national symbol has been acting like... well.. a politician!

The eagles are flying to Maine's remote rocky islands where they've been raiding the only known nesting colonies of great cormorants in the U.S. Snatching waddling chicks from the ground and driving adults from their nests, the eagles are causing the numbers of the glossy black birds to decline from more than 250 pairs to 80 pairs since 1992.

"They're like thugs. They're like gang members. They go to these offshore islands where all these seabirds are and the birds are easy picking," said Brad Allen, a wildlife biologist with the Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife. "These young eagles are harassing the bejesus out of all the birds, and the great cormorants have been taking it on the chin." In similar fashion, political thugs gang together on the common people, who are easy picking due to lack of resources, ignorance, and focusing on survival and defense. These politicos roam in gangs, kissing the ass of the ultra-wealthy and their interests, and common Americans who work hard end up taking it on the chin-- repeatedly.

Eagles are opportunistic feeders and will go after the easiest prey they can find, bird experts say. In Alaska, many eagles have shifted their diet from fish to seabirds. In the Midwest, they've been known to eat baby blue herons. In similar fashion, elected politicians end up treating babies they kissed prior to being elected (and their families) in virtually the same way-- AFTER they are elected of course.

So if this means that it will become OK to "control" eagle populations, can we use the same methods to "control" politician populations? Just a thought...


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INDIA'S RULING PARTY WINS RESOUNDINGLY, INDIANS CELEBRATE WITH POPULAR "HEAD DANCE"

NEW DELHI – The ruling Congress party swept to a resounding victory Saturday in India's mammoth national elections, defying expectations as it brushed aside the Hindu nationalist opposition and a legion of ambitious smaller parties.

There was much celebration, and people were seen doing the traditional national dance everywhere as in the photo above. This however led to a national emergency when nearly all 1.2 billion people began to suffocate once they figured out they couldn't breathe with their heads buried in the ground. Said one source "it is not like breathing with your head up your ass as is normally done, breathing in the ground is very much harder".

Sales of shovels, pick axes, and jack hammers have since tripled since all the celebrating began, in all the attempts to free people stuck everywhere.


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H1N1 SWINE FLU IS SPREADING - REPORTED CASES SURGE: TAMIFLU TERRORISTS HIJACK WORLD SUPPLY!

GENEVA (AFP) – Swine flu will spread further across the world, experts at the World Health Organisation warned Friday, as the number of confirmed cases surged by more than 1,000 and the US reported two more deaths.

Acting WHO Assistant Director-General Keiji Fukuda (pronounced FUK-uda) told reporters that studies by experts indicated a "significant number of people" had been infected, but remained undetected or unconfirmed by laboratory tests.

Another concern is the recent hijacking of the world TAMIFLU supply by P.I.S.S., a new terrorist group formed in response to all the Egyptian pig slaughtering which occurred a few weeks ago by ignorant peasant governments. So far they have not issued any demands and have only provided the above identification photograph. Mr. Fukuda speculates that P.I.S.S. stands for "pigs in space stupid" as evidenced by their suspicious looking spaceship background.



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AUTO MAKERS ARE BAILED OUT - BUT NEW CAR COSTS WILL SKYROCKET!

Automakers are STUPID... just after getting all this money from the government (er, make that YOU), they file bankruptcies and slash dealerships.

But what does that mean? In a year from now, with far less competition, new car prices will SOAR. But I guess that's no problem since we all have money and can afford it anyway, right?

The automakers are trying to mis-guide everyone by saying they have to close dealerships as buyers (i.e. you and me) can now go door-to-door and price-shop for the best price. ISN'T THAT HOW IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE? They claim all these dealerships are killing their industries-- what the hell are they talking about, since the overall effect is that a vehicle WAS SOLD! Well guess what will happen when the prices rise after you close out all those dealerships... where do you think sales will go then STUPIDS! When will people buy more vehicles.... when they cost less or cost more? I can't stand this stupidity, folks!!!!

Our national leaders LIE. Sports heroes LIE. Why wouldn't we expect automaker CEO's to LIE? You see, during all this, their salaries haven't changed. They all still have those fancy private jets.

And you know what? I wouldn't want a new vehicle now. Have you actually sat in anything made in 2006 or later? All seats are as hard as plastic! CHEAP!!!



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Friday, May 15, 2009

POPE ENDS HOLY LAND TRIP WITH CALL FOR IMPERIAL TWO-STATE SOLUTION

The Pope proclaimed "Let the two-state solution become a reality," at a ceremony at Tel Aviv's Ben Gurion Space Station before he headed home to Rome.

"No more bloodshed. No more fighting. No more terrorism. No more war, and by God never again any more of that Gungan Jar Jar Binks" the pontiff said as he ended an eight-day pilgrimage to Jordan, Israel, the occupied West Bank and the Imperial Senate.

"Let it be universally recognized that the state of Israel has the right to exist and to enjoy peace and security within interplanetarily agreed borders," he said.

The Pope's visit ended after a short consultation with Emperor Palpatine via satellite feed. The Emperor was regrettably unable to attend the visit, but he sent his apprentice and emissary, who was seen accompanying the papal flock while it was touring, in the above photo.


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OBAMA REVIVES CONTROVERSIAL GUANTANAMO TRIBUNALS... WHAT? OBAMA CHANGED HIS MIND?... SURPRISE!


Why is anyone surprised that he would do that? Is that a fluke? What about the promise to let all the military prisoner abuse pictures be seen?

In his inaugural address, President Obama promised "to restore science to its rightful place." We'll see what happens with Environmental Protection Agency proposing new rules for calculating greenhouse gas emissions from ethanol... but even that is scary because the EPA itself is such a bastion of truth and reliability... And another pre-election "promise" example is his stance on the "don't ask/don't tell" philosophy, which he clearly did a 180 with.

It would seem that almost all of Obama's promises are in jeapordy... oh well! We wanted change, right?! I don't care about the issues so much as when a man basically LIES about his stance. Obama is clearly a career politician and cannot keep his word-- he will say absolutely anything to anyone to get what he wants. Sounds more like a common whore's morality than anyone strong and steadfast!

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JESUS AND MARY FOR SALE! HURRY NOW BEFORE THEY'RE GONE!

I'm sorry but nowhere is STUPIDITY more obvious than in people who see Jesus in their food or other inanimate objects. News flash: Jesus did not appear to you, you are not special, and most if not all of you are going to HELL anyway because the first thing that you think of doing when you find Jesus in your food/wall/woodpile is YOU TRY TO SELL HIM! You are grasping at straws because you feel overwhelmed and insignificant and your media blitz at seeing Jesus is nothing more than a childish, attention-getting or money-making stunt. And shame on you-- not even Mary is immune to this stupidity.

Of course there many incarnations of Jesus or Mary: Flapjack Jesus. Chicken Jesus. Sheet Metal Jesus. Cheesy Jesus. And the ever-so-special Mary-of-Pancakes.

What does this say about baptists and hardcore christians, who seem to be the only ones seeing Jesus everywhere and wanting a piece of the jesus-pie (no pun intended)? LOL think about it-- you immediately try to profit from his personal appearance in your jello. Nice.

After reading some of these "product endorsements" I'm about to fall out of my chair, laughing. Says Linda Lowe of North Carolina, pitching the validity of her cheesey-toast-jesus, "That there is a Jesus!"... I have to know, just what is "a" jesus? LOL STUPID! And by the way Ms Lowe, Jesus did NOT say "This bread is my body, cover it with Kraft cheese"... or anything else for that matter! Besides, isn't there something about not making idols out of things somewhere in that book?

And why is it that nobody ever sees Ringo Starr or David Hasselhoff in their Toaster Strudel? For more stupidity, click the title link to see real sellers and real images. You be the judge!

And if you're going to have fun with your toaster, try this instead-- at least it burns something believeable that anyone else besides YOU can see!


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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

GAMES DELIVERED RIGHT TO YOUR DOOR- MR C DEAL OF THE DAY! GAMEFLY VIDEO GAME RENTALS

As a GameFly member, you can rent as many games as you want and play them as long as you want for only $22.95 per month. Manage your own personal wish list of games, what we call "My GameQ."


Check out 2 games at a time. When you're done, send your games back to us and the next picks in your GameQ will automatically be sent to you.


Awesome deal folks if you love video games! You cannot beat this deal! Don't be stupid tell em Mr C sent ya!

U.S.A. AT RISK OF LOSING GLOBAL CREDIT - FINALLY OUR GOVERNMENT REFLECTS THE AVERAGE AMERICAN!!

SINGAPORE (Reuters) – The United States is at risk of losing its triple-A credit rating unless it starts putting its finances in order, a former head of the agency in charge of fiscal accountability said in the Financial Times on Wednesday. (Can you see another "bailout" coming at our expense???)

Well it's about time! Just like our politicians have laid waste to the average American's wallet and shifted all the money to the rich, so will the world finally destroy our government's credit rating! KARMA! How stupid can politicians be? You can only take all the money from the majority (giving it to the rich minority) for so long lol... then you don't have any more to bail out these rich STUPIDS and their corporations!

The funny thing is that I bet not even the government can wipe the negative marks from their credit report-- seriously have you ever tried to do that? Transunion, Experian, and Equifax are truly above the law...

David Walker, former director of the Government Accountability Office, cited a warning from Moody's Investors Service nearly two years ago about ballooning healthcare and social security costs. Has this guy had his head up his ass the last 10 years? The common people have known about problems with healthcare costs and that NONE of us will have social security for MORE than a decade!

Government Accountability? That's an oxymoron if there ever was one...

POPE MEETS ABBAS, CALLS FOR PALESTINIAN STATE, AND IS SUSPECTED OF BEING A DILOPHOSAURUS

The pope recently met Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, and renewed the vatican's support for a two-state solution to the conflict. During his speech, a gust of wind caught him by surprise and almost blew his disguise as one of the clever venom-spitting dinosaurs from Jurassic Park.

Luckily the cameras were rolling and caught the split-second transformation which was invisible to the eyes of all around!


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AIRLINES ARE NOT SAFE ANY MORE-- PROVEN BY CONTINENTAL FLIGHT 3407 - Marvin Renslow and Rebecca Shaw

In yet another example of how effective our politicians really are at keeping us safe from STUPID corporate greed... they are investigating the Feb 12th crash of Continental Connection Flight 3407, which was the worst crash in 7 years.

Can you picture these 2 pilots? Marvin Renslow and Rebecca Shaw basically murdered everyone involved in the crash, in my opinion. They merrily chitchat about careers and their inexperience, and ignore the ice building up on their windshield... then they ignored the safety proceedures for correcting a stall...

If you ask me, the families of all involved should sue Continental right into oblivion!!! Why is continental at fault? One of the pilots failed several training tests before and after being hired!!!!! (WAIT a second... he was hired on condition of passing? WTF, he's going to be a PILOT for X's sake!) He finally passed and had only 3 months of experience at the time of the crash! Both pilots also had to "commute" across country to get to the airport they were piloting out of... talk about jet lag! All of the CEO's of the airline industry are STUPID for even allowing these conditions to exist. And if you think it's just Continental...

DEAR CONGRESS: IF PILOTS DON'T PASS ANY OF THEIR TESTS THE FIRST TIME, THEY SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO PILOT! PERIOD!!!!!



ARMY SGT. JOHN RUSSELL KILLS BUDDIES BECAUSE COUNSELORS ARE MEAN TO HIM!!! WHAT A STUPID EXCUSE!!!

Another typical example of the whiny, "ME ME ME" attitude that has come from all the hippie, make-love-not-war, spare-the-rod mentality that parents have had with their children the last 30 years...

This army sergeant is crying foul because counselors were mean to him, and he had a bad few days (emailing his wife and telling her that 2 recent days were "the worst in his life")!

THAT is his excuse for killing 5 fellow soldiers????!!!! THIS SERGEANT SHOULD BE STRUNG UP!!! He is so STUPID he must be BRAIN DEAD! And you know what? SO ARE THE ARMY COUNSELORS for not picking up on this. They are just as guilty as he is! What the hell are we paying the army counselors to do, aren't they supposed to be detecting these sorts of things before they happen? He was right there in their little clinic!


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

PARIS HILTON SET TO DESIGN CHILDRENS CLOTHING?

Paris, 28, IS SET TO START a design clothes line amined at children.I guess Paris isn't satisfied that she already has millions and wants to take down the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen clothing line available at Wal-Mart stores across the US.

Mr C. says: I mean what in the hell does Paris know about designing children's clothes? Paris designing children's clothes is like Hillary Clinton wearing a thong! LOL! Or Paris becoming a poster child for MCDONLADS! It ain't happin fool! LMAO

DOUBLE LIVES - MEL GIBSON EXPOSED: THE MAN BEHIND THE MASKS

Mel's new look betrays his closely-guarded secret. His triple life is now confirmed-- he is Mel, the 100% stupid burger king mascot, and the secret vigilante known as "V"!



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Monday, May 11, 2009

WHY IS THIS WOMAN NOT IN JAIL- JANET RENO - THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT WACO TEXAS

Waco: The Rules of Engagement Documentary will change forever the way the world thinks and talks about the tragedy in Waco Texas on April 19, 1993 but, most importantly, it will renew our commitment to the basic precepts of tolerance upon which American Society is built.

I guess one could say that I am a documentary addict, and I suppose that I am. Although this one is not fun to watch it is surreal in the facts that transpired during this standoff in 1993. What we all watched in the media in fact is NOTHING compared to what really happened. I am not a big fan of David Koresh, although I am a big fan of truth. Any free democracy such as the United States owes the people the truth.

As I was talking about this with a friend of mine, he ask me "Well what are they going to do" and it became clear that although the lives of the ATF agents as well as the lives of the children can never be brought back, the ruthless arrogance and stupidity can be exposed for what it is. Truth gets people talking and truth can lead us to be knowledgeable enough to never allow something such as this to never happen again.

Websters dictionary defines accountability in leadership roles as acknowledgment and assumption of responsibility for actions, products, decisions, and policies including the administration, governance of those actions. And in this case everyone involved passes the accountability on to someone else.

As soon as I as the movie ends it shows up close and personal the charred remains of an 8 year old girl whose body was bent completely backwards as the muscles contracted in such a violent way that it broke her bones due to the affects of the CS gas that was pumped into the compound before it was torched and she burned to death.

Minutes later the ATF strung their flag up the flagpole- their victory forever unjustified, as most Americans just shrugged it off as another Jim Jones incident and then went shopping at Walmart!

It all very ironic that this documentary has been discontinued by the manufacture... imagine that. There are less than 10 copies on Amazon.

Buy it-watch it-talk about it- and never forget it.
Waco - The Rules of Engagement

Sunday, May 10, 2009

WHAT ARE THEY DOING? MYSPACE PARIS HILTON CELEBRITY UPDATES WORTHY OF STUPID

Update from the Paris Hilton camp! Paris updates her where bouts with this Myspace update. Paris say's "On a Secret Island with my man! Amazing! Mood is loved.

Mr C. wants to know Ms. Stupid * I mean Paris* sigh..Is it the island you are trying to keep secret, or is it the vacation you are trying to keep secret? It's a little confusing Paris- Please clarify.

Oh my bad, I think I just figured it out! The secret is the man you are with. LOL Dummy, it's really no secret everyone knows you are with Perez so stop trippin with these stupid updates!

It just keeps getting better huh~

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