Saturday, May 30, 2009

SOME GRANDMOTHERS STILL HAVE IT

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Family Fun Destinations

JAPANESE CREATE MONKEY THAT GLOWS IN THE DARK - TAKE THAT DARWIN!

Why would you want to alter monkeys so when they mated, their offspring would glow in the dark you ask?

I have no damn clue. Maybe they're trying to file a new Wizard of OZ movie and they needed a modern spin on the flying monkeys. Maybe they they have some crazy goal in mind to eventually make us all glow in the dark so we don't need lights anymore and it will help with global warming... who knows.

But it does mean that using primates to do genetic testing means we are one step closer to doing genetic engineering in humans! And if that were not scary enough, there were side effects during this process that included miscarriages and unleashing cancer-- what do you think will happen when they try on humans some day?

I'm all for progress but this is a bit too much. I don't care if they claim this is how we'll cure some diseases-- let's find another way that does not tempt fate or give anyone the power to genetically alter human beings. Stem cell research to heal is one thing, genetic engineering to create a specific trait is entirely another...


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Here is is, in case we have Vietnam II we'll all need lessons on speaking the lingo. So study up!

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THOSE CRAZY SWISS INVENT TRANSPARENT PUBLIC TOILETS: THEY CALL IT ART!


Hold on a second peeps... why in the HELL would anyone want to go in-- let along use-- one of these things except your typical exhibitionist? If I wanted to see people taking a dump, I'd go... no wait, I don't EVER want to see that so scratch that.

You do get to push a button, and the walls instantly become one-way mirrors so you can still see all the people who just watched you walk in and pull down your pants... I guess that makes it ok, right?

I can think of a MILLION other useful things to do with something so cool as windows that turn into one-way mirrors at the touch of a button-- what the hell possessed anyone to couple that feature with a toilet???

On the one hand, the inventor is genius. On the other, a total nut-case. Why can't geniuses ever be normal?


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INDIAN AIR FORCE HELPS CYCLONE AILA

(With all apologies... I couldn't resist...)

KOLKATA, India (Reuters) – The Indian Air force air-dropped supplies to remote islands in the Sundarabans Friday, and people scampered to grab packets of pre-cooked food, water and medicines, witnesses said. Show in the picture are locals running with joy as the Indian Air force lends a hand.

Millions of people in India and Bangladesh remained marooned without food or water on Friday, four days after cyclone Aila hit them, and authorities said disease was becoming a serious problem, er... make that a slightly more serious problem than it already was before. There is some additional confusion however as authorities admittedly are not sure how many of the victims actually had food or water before the cyclone hit.

The cyclone killed at least 275 people, and arrangements are being make to dump them all into the river Ganges at once, instead of one-at-a-time into the river which is customarily how dead bodies are handled in India.

Cyclone Aila hit Monday, triggering tidal surges and floods and destroying hundreds of thousands of homes, leaving only 2 homes standing in all of India, as only the minority upper class Indians normally have homes to live in.

Heavy rains raised river levels and burst mud embankments everywhere, causing widespread flooding and triggering landslides. Indian engineers were baffled as they are normally over-proud and confident, and could not explain why mud dams would fail in a wet environment.

The Indian government is not overly worried though, quoted one official "Since the gestation period for Indian women is 60 days, we'll make up the loss in no time!"


Friday, May 29, 2009

NORTH KOREA MAY OPT FOR LAND ASSAULT: VIETNAM II ANYONE?

Seriously, if you took away the glamor and high-heeled combat boots, and multiplied the troops by a rediculous number, you'd have the North Korean army.

Forget the nuclear stuff for a moment-- they could rape South Korea just with all the conventional ground forces and long range missiles sitting around. Their army is the 4th largest in the WORLD!!!! Included in that gynormous ground force is 80,000 special commandos who are fanatics, all at their disposal.

Granted, they might all fight with clubs and long-range catapults, but high-tech weapons may not be a match against the sheer numbers they have. Seoul, with 10 million people, is only 35 miles from the border... and we're not even considering all the fighting power North Korea has right up it's ass from China backing it up!

The experts all agree that South Korea would prevail in the end, but only "at an enormous human cost". Translation: WE will lose more of our soldiers than every before, and WE will incur so much new debt that our recession now will seem like holiday time!

ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NOT! We do not need to waste 1 single life. We don't need to waste another 10 TRILLION DOLLARS on another god damn political war. Give those morons South Korea. We can absorb the immigrants-- that's what we do anyway.

Maybe having these new citizens (we can call them Korea-zens?) will be able to kick out all the working VISA holders who have done nothing be steal American jobs for decades. I'd rather have genuine US citizens than illegals and VISA holders everywhere, any day!

SERIOUSLY, let some other country donate their people and their lives for a change! How about India? They've got plenty of people to spare! They just sit around and gloat about how perfect they are anyway-- so let them be perfect little soldiers. And what about all these other countries that have gotten rich off of us? MAYBE OPEC SHOULD FUND ANOTHER VIETNAM WAR IF ONE HAPPENS!!!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!



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CLASSIFIED AD CALLS FOR OBAMA'S ASSASSINATION

We all have our opinions, and lord knows you all know mine by now... but Mr C would never be so stupid as to put a classified ad in a newspaper calling for the assassination of the president!

Did this moron think they'd be anonymous, especially since you have to use a credit card to place an ad? S T U P I D! The Warren Times Observer posted the ad which read, "May Obama follow in the steps of Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley and Kennedy!"

The Secret Police are investigating the person who placed the ad, obviously.

Two more things strike me as incredibly stupid about the story. First, nobody at the newspaper was educated enough to make the connection that all of those presidents were assassinated... guess that happens when you outsource to India! Second, I'm not sure if they retracted the ad... they never said. LOL.



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THE SOUND OF LAUGHTER AT APPLEBES WHEN MR C IS THERE WITH HIS CAMERA! AWESOME

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With everything going on in the world! Go to Applebees with Mr C! Always an uproar! Applebees ROCKS!

GOOD TIMES AT APPLEBEES MR. C TOOK THIS VIDEO! LORI ROCKS! LORI SHOULD BE IN THE MOVIES

Lori Will never forget these good times! Smile


MR C WITH HIS APPLEBEES CAM AND YES LORI TALKS TO EVERY CUSTOMER THAT IS IN THE STORE!
MARY ANN SHOULD BE THE STORE MANAGER AS HARD AS SHE WORKS TO TAKE CARE OF HER CUSTOMERS!
You have to listen closley to the lady lori is talking to! LMAO! She is singing the praises of lori, until Mr C interrupted! LOL

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Thursday, May 28, 2009

THE ANSWER TO THE ECONOMIC CRISIS FOR THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE

We as Americans seem to very good at throwing money out the window, so I've decided that I'd try a little experiment This process will be to collect as many names and addresses as I can in thirty days.

After the 30 days have expired start at name number one and mail a 1.00 money order to that person (collectively) then everyone else who's name is on the list would do the same thing.

Then that first name would be marked paid and the name number 2 would be paid on the 15th of the next month by everyone on the list each donating 1.00 to that person for their needs!

A charity for the people, by the people! Awesome idea huh!

By combining forces we the people have more leverage than Walmart.At just 5,000 names we could give each month to one person 5,000 dollars. Now imagine that with 500,000 names! Now we are talking! Just think of the possibility's! Mr. C's charity "For the people, by the people"

ELIZABETH ALDENEY GIVES BIRTH TO SON CONGRATULATIONS 5.lb BABY BOY ALL HEALTHY

Congratulations is in order for the most amazing women in Britain! Mr C being the father of four wonderful children know's what this moment feels like! Let the people say what they may! I say this lady rocks! In the famous words of Cher "follow this you bitches"

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DAUGHTER KILLS HER 62 YEAR OLD ELDERLY FATHER OVER A DINNER ROLL

Just when you thought you had heard and seen all, something comes along that makes lean back in your chair and scratch your head. Police responded to a call where the found a 62 year old elderly man shot and STABBED!

His 42 year old daughter when ballistic when she discovered that her father had ate her left over dinner roll that she was saving for later!

The police found her hiding in the woods behind the house and she was still upset, not because she had just shot - and then stabbed her father, but of a left over dinner roll. I guess that was a very important dinner roll for her to slaughter her her father right in the kitchen as he was eating!

Sources tell Mr. C that the dinner roll was only half eaten, and she had put her name on the outside of the packaging! Mr. C will keep his loaded gun next to him from this day forward when he eats in his own house-because you just never know.

SPEAK TO ME BITCH OR I WILL CRUSH YOU WITH MY FAT FIST BAR FIGHT AT APPLEBEES

Mr. C finally had a day off and you all know where I go on my off days! Applebees! Well, tonight (And I will set this up for ya) Happy laughter filled Applebees, a small child was running around the bar with his mother in toe! Everyone goo goo and gaga over the little boy!

Just as I was finishing up my last cheese stick, I felt the earth move under my chair! LOL (yeah seriously) and I look up thinking that we had just been attacked by the Koreans, but it was a (very large) at least 400 lb. whale! Maryann (sister of Allie) had just refilled my drink as all eyes looked at the beast as he walking around the bar.

Well, the beast walked up to two other guys and stood in the middle of them and bodily proclaimed! Yo! What up! One guy gave the usual with eyes rolled "what up" and the other guy who was minding his business politely said (get your hands off me)! Well with that said, the beast shook him a little bit and said Yo bitch! Are you going to speak to me? The guy again said (get your hands off me)....Now me, With my keen sense of stupid people was already zoned into the situation.

The 400 lb (and I'm not joking, I am being nice)ask the guy again "are you going to fuck me over like that" And the guy just looked at him! Well, at that moment the fat ass whale hit this guy (fist closed) as hard as he could! And then just strolled off toward the door! Everyone in the bar became silent wondering what was going to happen next! Me (Mr. C) jumped up and tackled the whale (NOT)!

Anyway the superheros showed up and the whale swam away before they could drag him off to jail to become a mermaid instead of a whale! LOL....

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

WHAT ARE MY CHILDREN DOING ONLINE THE NUMBER YAHOO QUESTION

Yahoo Question: There is this boy i really like, and he says he really likes me. He did tell my mates a few months ago. But it's almost like he's changed, because now we get into arguments and he blocks me and ignores me.

He does get hard over me and hes like..horny..and our recent argument is because he texted my friend behind my back asking me for phone sex, because i told him i was tired and i was going to bed and he was extremely horny at the time.

And i asked him on the phone about it and he hung up on me. So i got angry as you would do and hes just being an arsehead about it. He does really like me because hes always staring at me and comforts me when im upset..and he says hi to me at work (morrisons) lol, hes 18 and im 16 almost.

He doesnt want to go out with me until im 16. He does respect me but he does get horny and it pees me off.

How do i get him to come running back and asking me to forgive him? Anyone know any ways that they grantee will bring him back? I really can't be without him :(. We do makeup all the time but I'm worried that this time he meant it when he told me to forget it :'(
Please I'm begging for your help

Mr C. answers: You are telling me and they rest of the civilized world that you are 15 years old and worried having phone sex with an 18 year old? What in the hell is wrong with you! Do you think that you are Paris Hilton or something! Holy shit! I can't believe this one!

I will tell you how to get him to run to you! Memorize all of your school text books and the next time he Call's you because his dick is hard- talk to him about Aids and Gonorrhea!

And while I'm at it, I would like to ask you a question? Do you watch the news? Are you not concerned with getting a good job and earning the respect of your family and peers?

Or do you just like being a little ghetto slut at 15!

I will give you a glimpse of your life if you continue on the path that you are on-Public housing-AFDC checks-Medicaid for your children that have not father-shopping for all your clothes at the homeless shelter thrift shop!

All the while people like me and others fitting the bill so you can can be a ghetto piece of trash!! You don't know how bad I wish that I was your father! SHIT! "UGH"

Right now go and wake up your crackhead mother and tell her your dilemma! I'm sure can put you on the right track!

Parents! Attention! This is what OUR youth are doing online! And I have the perfect thing! CYBERPATROL! I have it, and it WORKS! Get off your asses and wake up! BUY IT! It will send you e-mails if your children are doing such shit as this! Mr C is pissed!


ANOTHER YAHOO QUESTION THAT IS NOT SO STUPID

Yahoo Question: I am 19 about to be 20 and I live with my father. I have a really messed up family situation with my mom and all she has addiction problems and I can't live with her.

My father is really mean to me he calls me names, makes me wake up at 3 in the morning to cook his dinner every night and sometimes hits me. When he choked me he was drinking and told my family I was lying he didn't choke me but rather grabbed my throat.

He makes me feel like it is all my fault and says I will go to hell for not honoring him like the bible says. He takes my entire check not even leaving me 20$ to get lunch. Whenever I try to stick up for myself it turns into a bad altercation. I have 2 little brothers who I basically care for because my mom cant. No one in my family will stand up to him and they make me think its my fault and I should shut up and take it or just ignore it.

I cant save to move out because he takes my money. If i don't give him the money he will throw me out. My boyfriend has offered me to move in with him and his family and save my money for my own place. Everyone tells me to leave his house but I'm really scared I tried to leave and it got really ugly family fights and my dad was being really manipulative.

He says I can't survive on my own and that I should wait 4 years until I graduate college before leaving. IDK what to do someone help please I just need to know if this is normal and if I am over reacting. Should I stay with my BF and save up to move out while in school?

Or stay there and wait a few years. I can't take anymore I want to leave I'm just scared idk how to. Is he right in doing this since he is my father? please help :(

Mr C can't believe his eyes! A Yahoo Question that is not stupid! Ok here is what you need to do. What is going on in your family is not normal by no means! Is is typical christian bullshit, and you should leave as soon as the siblings are out of the house!

Call your local social service agency and tell them everything that you have typed here. If you have to record some of the battles with your shitbag father to play for them.

You should move in with your boyfriends parents! And the other children should be placed in foster care until you can get them-You have the right not be abused! Make some calls! And get out. I will be thinking about you!


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