Saturday, July 18, 2009

CHER WILL YOU PLEASE SIGN MY ARM IN VEGAS?

Paul McCartney personally signs a crazed fans arm so she should later get it tattooed-This is most awesome and very humble of McCartney to do. Mr. C wonders if Cher would do the same for me! Please?

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JANET AND DUPRI ARE CALLING IT QUITS

After almost seven years of dating, Janet Jackson and music producer Jermaine Dupri have reportedly called it quits, according to Us Weekly. In addition to her break-up, another source said Jackson is still in the midst of mourning for her brother.

“She’s devastated,” another insider said. “She’s busy caring for Michael’s kids. Janet’s the family’s backbone.”


Janet Mr C thinks you rock! You are doing the right thing! Those children need you-you are a perfect fit to raise your brothers children. The world and Mr. C gives you a thumbs up! Did I mention that I'm single?


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HARRY POTTER 107 MILLION DOLLARS

Read the headlines! 107 million dollars! Wow! And to think I just became irate at food lion because Bologna was 4.47. From this day foward if the word Harry Potter is heard by CIA listening devices embedded in ALL cell phones you get an instant 1.07 charge on your phone bill to cover the cost associated with the federal governments "how often so panda's have sex" in the anartic.

That should cover the 30 million dollar bill.

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HOW TO FIX THE ECONOMY MO TAXES-TAX HELL


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A former officer with the Bell Police Department has pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting a female motorist, a federal crime for which he faces as many as 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine, said officials with the U.S. attorney’s office in Los Angeles.

Feliciano Sanchez, 34, admitted that he stopped a woman for a traffic violation in May 2007 and took her in his patrol car to a location where he placed his hand on his duty weapon and forced her to provide oral sex, prosecutors said.

GREAT NEW TAX LAW-oral sex in cars with or without consent-250.00 instant tax-THEY NEED MO MONEY!
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OSCAR MYER MOBILE CRASHES IN WISCONSIN

MOUNT PLEASANT, Wis. – One southern Wisconsin homeowner is probably not in love with the Oscar Mayer wiener. The famed hot dog's Wiener mobile crashed Friday into the deck and garage of a home in Mount Pleasant, about 35 miles south of Milwaukee.

Companys as well as Government will do just about anything to save their asses to today's economy-and I might add that this is no different with Oscar Myer-I smell a conspiracy here folks, and I am never wrong.

It is nothing short of a publicity stunt to get us to but more hot dogs!

Mr. C says to Oscar Myer-Your hot dogs are really good, but I will not be paying the outrageous prices that you have them for-I can do without Oscar Myer. You suck-

Mr C proclaims-From this day foward anyone caught sinking their teeth into an Oscar Meyer hot dog will be levied a .50 cents tax for each one-

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TWO MILLION HOMES LOST TO FORCLOSURES 2009

Administration officials blame the mortgage service's charged with carrying out the mortgage modifications and refinancing under the federal program.

Many of their Democratic allies on Capitol Hill back them up, but others are criticizing the White House for fumbling the execution.

Whatever the reason, the program hasn’t stopped the rising tide of foreclosures: Experts predict that at least another 2 million homes will be lost this year, and the administration’s plan has so far reached only about 160,000 of the 3 million to 4 million homes it was supposed to protect over the next three years.

Business as usual-there is always someone to blame and the redirect out of Washington is to keep spending! Things are getting better! What a freaking joke! I should have joined the Amish years ago!

THEY SPENT BILLION DOLLARS OF OUR MONEY SO THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN-WHERE IS THE MONEY FOLKS? I CAN TELL YOU-IN THE POCKETS OF BANKS EXEC.

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Out

WALTER CRONKITE DEAD AT 92 WHO WILL BE NEXT?

Condolence from Mr. C to the Cronkite family. "This country has lost an icon and a dear friend, and he will be truly missed." President Obama

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Jobless rate tops 10 percent

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Fifteen states have crossed a painful threshold: 10 percent unemployment. More states, and the nation, likely will follow, one of the biggest dangers to an economic recovery.

Hey I thought the news was getting better or was that a lie to?

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Glenn Beck's Common Sense: The Case Against an Out-of-Control Government

In any era, great Americans inspire us to reach our full potential. They know with conviction what they believe within themselves. They understand that all actions have consequences. And they find commonsense solutions to the nation's problems.


One such American, Thomas Paine, was an ordinary man who changed the course of history by penning Common Sense, the concise 1776 masterpiece in which, through extraordinarily straightforward and indisputable arguments, he encouraged his fellow citizens to take control of America's future -- and, ultimately, her freedom.


Nearly two and a half centuries later, those very freedoms once again hang in the balance. And now, Glenn Beck revisits Paine's powerful treatise with one purpose: to galvanize Americans to see past government's easy solutions, two-part monopoly, and illogical methods and take back our great country.

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Guaranteed Personal Loans - Bad Credit Welcome

Friday, July 17, 2009

JOGGING WITH TIGHTS ON - IN PUBLIC PARKS

Nationwide big brother cameras in every park across America to document anyone caught wearing tights as you jog-this is nothing but an attempt to entice others to follow you home-if you are caught-an instant 25.00 tax for letting your stuff be that visible.

If it leads to sex- in public or private-the sex tax also apply's.

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NEW TAX ON MAN BOOBS TO FUND HILLARYS SLIPS

If it is found out that you have man boobs-new taxes apply .01 cent every hour that you are not doing push-ups to rid yourself of them-Tax money will be used to pay for Hillary s broken arms as she is finding it difficult to walk without falling these days.

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SOTOMAYER APPOINTMENT: MORE LAME LEADERSHIP?


NEW TAXES TO SAVE THE USA: SEX TAX

Washington, A.P.: Congress passed the first round of the latest tax laws in a late session Thursday night, which is part of a sweeping set of reforms to pay for all the decades of wasteful spending and lavish lifestyles led by our nation's leaders, and to make up for bankrupting Americans by giving huge tax breaks to corporations and rich elite.

Starting in 2010, all men must wear genital restraining cuffs which will levy a $5.00 tax every time they have sex. Women will also wear genital reservoirs and oral headgear which will also levy the same tax that the vagina is put to use or their tongues are otherwise engaged.

A tax on anal sex was considered, but abandoned at the last minute as another of the new tax laws involves the Colon Monitor to levy a tax every time a person takes a dump.

Additional debate is ongoing on whether to tax pet owners for every time their animals perform coitus.

There will be no tax rebates for coitus-interruptus once the tax has been levied, so be sure to finish what you start and get your $10.00 worth! That goes for your pets too-- don't put the hose on them until they are finished!

Our leaders are the smartest and best leaders in the world! They love us!

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Thursday, July 16, 2009

NEW TAXES TO SAVE THE USA: GOLDEN TICKET TO PARADISE CHURCH TAX

Every time you attend CHURCH to renew your one way ticket to a place where everything you could ever imagine is free, and 25 virgins for everyman = $5.00 tax per visit!

This could build new schools with state of art technology for the next, say.....one hundred billion years!

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NEW TAX CODE TO SAVE THE USA - GLUTTONY TAX and THONG TAX

Excessive Weight Gluttony Tax, will be assessed at $2,000.00/pound that you are overweight--Mandatory weigh-ins are taken before you can vote to validate who will pay! Interesting but very clever!

If you are MALE and wear a thong = Thong Tax @ $20.00 per occurrence! This could fund Medicare for the Elderly for a million years! LOL

If you violate both the Gluttony Tax and the Thong Tax, your tax will triple and there will be mandatory public service duty cleaning out pig stalls in your thong.

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NEW TAX CODE TO SAVE THE USA: NIPPLE RING TAX

According to the new tax code-- if you get a nipple ring and your tits are saggy, there will be an instant $10 tax every time you wear it.

Xray scanners setup at Walmart would monitor for nipple rings! Watch out! It's tax hell people! They want OUR money!

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SAVE THE USA WITH NEW TAXES: IN THE CLOSET GAY MEN TAX 2010

New Tax Code to save the USA! We have pot tax- sex tax-and now lets go after the incognito man who waits patiently for his wife to leave so he can look at gay porn on the internet! That would create an estimated 60 billion dollars for them to waste!

It might be better for you to just fantasize in the shower like Jimmy Swaggart. Its a new day folks Mr C is going tax crazy! It is what it is!

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SAVE THE USA WITH MORE TAXES: NEW TOILET TAX IN EFFECT!

Mr. C is going to rewrite the US tax code for the idiots in Washington according to what I think they really want to tax us on: January 2010-- Toilet Tax: From this day foward you have to account for every time you take a shit, on your annual taxes! Now that a great idea! Everybody shits right? Billions more for them to spend!

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NEW TAXES TO SAVE THE USA: TAX ON MEN WHO WEAR THEIR WIFE'S PANTIES

I have another great idea- mandate a tax on MEN WHO WEAR THEIR WIFE'S PANTIES! would be worth billions in new revenue!

Include all crossdressers, transvestites, and transgenders pre- and post-op and it would pay for healthcare for all!

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CALIFORNIA TO USE POT AS BAIL OUT PACKAGE: MARIJUANA FOR THE MASSES?

SAN FRANCISCO – A bill to tax and regulate marijuana in California just like alcohol would generate nearly $1.4 billion in revenue for the cash-strapped state, according to an official analysis released Wednesday by tax officials.

The State Board of Equalization report estimates marijuana retail sales would bring $990 million from a $50-per-ounce fee and $392 million in sales taxes.


Mr. C thinks it's about time to move out west! WOW! To think that we have resorted to this in lieu of what WE need to do to fix the economy! (Get rid of career politicians and stop letting them ruin us...) It is amazing what law makers will consider to keep the bucks flowing in this country! Simply Amazing!


Will they consider the state killing entire communities in the future to keep more money for themselves? Oh Shit I'm sorry-I forgot- they already do. We are nothing to our government but SLAVES!


It's a great time to be alive in America I say!


Before long we will have the Sex Tax-you must report to the Government how many times you have sex in a year and be tax based on that data!


Paris Hilton would pay billions! And what about Bill Clinton! Save the USA-have sex! Great plan if I must say so-remember you heard it here first.


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MICHAEL JACKON'S KIDS OFFICIALLY WANT TO LIVE WITH JANET

Now this really is the best thing for these kids. Keep them the HELL away from that opportunistic, bottom-feeding, uneducated slimeball Joe Jackson!

As reported by Ree Hines (msnbc.com contributor), "Prince Michael, Paris-Michael Katherine, and Prince Michael II (aka Blanket), have made their own decision. They want their aunt Janet Jackson to raise them. A family friend revealed that Janet has completely bonded with those children in the last two weeks. She has been their rock. It’s clear to everyone that they are looking to her for comfort and guidance.”

Janet is indeed the strongest, most capable, and arguably the most intelligent of all the Jackson family. She is perfect to raise them! They will be lucky to be under her care and guidance.

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HARRY POTTER and the HALF-BLOOD PRINCE UNDERWEAR DANCE by FREDDIE STROMA

LOL talk about wishing you hadn't done something before you become famous... the newest star from the incredibly successful Harry Potter series apparently did some, um..., "work" as an underwear model only a year or two before he hit it big. There's no sound so you'll have to hum your favorite ditty as he shows his moves for the camera. Wonder how long it will take him to get U-Tube to pull the video? lol!



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Anything HARRY POTTER cheap on AMAZON! Click Here!

HOW TO TELL IF A MAN IS GAY


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90MPG VEHICLES IN 6 MONTHS, PLUS HEAT YOUR HOME -- ALL POWERED BY YOUR PEE!

Hold on there! What! Those crafty people at Ohio State! Eric Bland from Discovery reports that "urine-powered cars, homes and personal electronic devices could be available in six months with new technology developed by scientists from Ohio University."

Seriously all kidding aside, this is revolutionary!!! Our new renewable energy source is Pee Power? Eric further reveals "Using a nickel-based electrode, the scientists can create large amounts of cheap hydrogen from urine, that could be burned or used in fuel cells. One cow can provide enough energy to supply hot water for 19 houses. Stick a special nickel electrode into a pool of urine, apply an electrical current, and hydrogen gas is released. A fuel cell, urine-powered vehicle could theoretically travel 90 miles per gallon."

This is the fuel source that will free ALL of us from the utility companies, the oil giants...THINK of all the possibilities! Who knows maybe even loosen the stranglehold that the government has on us! Mr. C wonders what they will do to prevent this technology from ever reaching mainstream use.... you know they will! That's sad. It would be nice to piss into a jug and heat your home and fuel your vehicle! lol as awesome as this is, it's still very funny to imagine!

Would this remove the criminality from public urination? You could just say you were charging your ipod!

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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

WAL-MART PROFITS LAST YEAR 6.6 BILLION

THINK about that. SIX point SIX billion for one company, in one year, that is all PROFIT! Given its staggering size and rapid expansion, Wal-Mart increasingly sets the standard for wages and benefits throughout the U.S. economy. "Americans can't live on a Wal-Mart paycheck," says Greg Denier, communications director for the United Food and Commercial Workers International Union (UFCW). "Yet it's the dominant employer, and what they pay will be the future of working America."

The average hourly worker at Wal-Mart earns barely $18,000 a year at a company that pocketed $6.6 billion in profits last year. Forty percent of employees opt not to receive coverage under the company's medical plan, which costs up to $2,844 a year, plus a deductible. As Jennifer McLaughlin puts it, "They're on top of the Fortune 500, and I can't get health insurance for my kid."

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THE TRUTH ABOUT AMERICA: THANK YOU WASHINGTON!

The United States use to be the land of opportunity, where white picket fences abound and children ran through the streets with puppies under clear blue skies. Over the past couple of decades our country had moved so drastically away from the 1950’s television show family and lifestyle.

Our children no longer walk in the streets; they prefer to sit in front of televisions and video games, texting in lieu of talking. Alongside their parents that are likely to be one of 66% of Americans that are obese.

Ward Cleaver didn’t spending his Saturdays at a shopping mall buying Chinese made lead poisoned toys; he spent time outside around his home while his children ran through the streets of town getting exercise and learning social skills. When did shopping become a recreation and why are we as a country ok with that?

My fear is that the American dream is fading into what we should call the old-school American dream and we are moving so far away from that dream that we may never be able to return. Where is the American dream, when American companies ship their jobs over seas only to see more profit?

Where is the American dream when your children are sitting at home eating food that has been flow in from another country and prepared in a corporate manufacturing plant in front of a television?

We are a population that seems to be completely resign to the fact that we are no longer as great as were use to be, the old-school American dream is fading, fast. Every time a student drops out of a state college because tuition is too high or a CEO is rewarded for creating profits from outsourcing former American jobs we should be frightened of what is to come.

I in no way advocate isolationism, but if Americans want to fix this economic crisis we must buy American products although it isn’t always the cheapest option it is the best for the health of the country. Another step toward the old-school American dream is making our children play outside or making ourselves play outside.

If it’s cold bundle up and do your errands within walking distance, not only is it healthy but it is great of your local economy and the environment. We need to change the way Americans think, we need to realize that not everything should be easy and not everyone should live in a mansion.

Yes you might have to break a sweet on a Saturday doing yard work but that is how this country became great and that is the simplest way to restore our country to greatness.

We must work for it and it will require us to change our daily lives and break a sweat but if we roll up our sleeves the rewards will be fantastic.

Dan Presson
Richmond Heights

This is by far the greatest blog post ever written! Thanks Dan
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IS SARA PALIN ORGANIZING A BOSTON TEA PARTY?

Latest rumor from Washington is that Sara Palin has the powerful elite running scared in both party's. Could she possibly be organizing and planning a run for the White House on a third party ticket-one she created?

She has been compared to the next Ronald Regan-and Washington knows just how much power she has.

Is she secretly studying the Boston Tea Party? Well, Sara Mr. C is here to tell you and everyone else that we could have our own Boston Tea Party and it would be very easy to do.

Lets say for two weeks straight everyone in the United States stopped shopping at Wal-Mart. The world as we know it would absolutely crumble around us! Washington would resort to begging us to go shopping! All those Chinese importers would lose billions and with that action-we could not only ask for-but demand change in Washington.

Washington sharing the same bed with China and Wal-mart has destroyed America-and Sara will not be able to fix it-she will just give us a fresh face to look at as we keep spinning toward complete collapse.

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HEALTH CARE REFORM VERY SIMPLE-IF YOU ARE NOT A LEGAL CITIZEN=NO

WHY SPERM DONATION CAN GET EXPENSIVE

Igor Lehnberg, a Swedish man who was friends with a lesbian couple, wanted to help the ladies have children so he donated sperm for artificial insemination and soon the women had three kids.

After breaking up with her significant other, however, the mother of the children filed a lawsuit against Lehnberg for child support -- and won.

In early 2002, the Swedish court ruled that the man was undeniably the biological father and was therefore condemned to pay a monthly allowance of approximately $280 US.

Don't be stupid with your stuff-it can become very expensive!
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HOW TO BECOME GAY AND GET PAID FOR IT

A 27-year-old man from Michigan was involved in a rear-end collision. Four years later, he sued the owners of the truck that was responsible for the accident.

Having suffered minor injuries, he stated that from then on, his sexual relationship with his wife deteriorated, as he was unable to maintain their sex life.

He claimed that he had been so affected by the crash that his personality had been forever changed. In fact, he maintained that the accident turned him into a homosexual. He left his wife, moved in with his parents, began hanging out in gay bars, and became a fervent reader of gay literature.

He won his case and was awarded $200,000, while his wife received $25,000.

Only in America could something like this happen-GET THE WORD OUT! Major ass protection needed here! I wonder if he also sued his mother for making him wear panties as a child-

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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

BIRTH CONTROL IN THE YEAR 2020- WEAR IT



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THE UNTED STATES OF WALMART- A NEW BEGINNING

For many years WE all have sat back and indulged in everything under the sun, not for one minute thinking about tomorrow - and now tomorrow is knocking on our door. We have listened to Washington money hungry elite tell us to spend spend spend and work more and more to keep the ones who are shafting us everyday very rich-

What will it take to wake up America? What will be the wake up call for Washington- If you are reading this and think for one minute that you are not affected by the Washington elite-you are sadly mistaken. It does not matter if you live in Beverly Hills or the Ghettos of the South-you are affected and if we continue with the same old way of doing business then we just sink deeper into total chaos.

Change we can believe in? I don't think so-

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Jackson's Mother and Ex-Wife Plot Secret Deal

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THE JACKSON THREE PIMPED BY JOE "ME ME ME"

Ian Halperin, a celebrity biographer claimed in The Sun Newspaper that a source close to the family told him Michael’s father already has plans for Prince Michael I, 12; Paris Michael Katherine, 11; and Prince Michael II (Blanket), 7.

Joe Jackson is reportedly hoping to take Michael Jackson’s three children on tour in 2010, a biographer of the late “King of Pop” claimed on Monday.

Joe "pimp daddy" Jackson was also quoted as saying-People are going to always talk about us-just spell the name right- Mr. C says how on earth could it ever be spelled wrong? The correct spelling is P-I-M-P! Right? Karma's a bitch, and this man should be left to rot somewhere isolated and alone. Oops did I say that?

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MORE STUPIDITY OUT OF WASHINGTON

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – President Barack Obamawill unveil a $12 billion initiative on Tuesday to boost community colleges and propel the United States toward his goal of having the highest proportion of college graduates in the world by 2020, administration officials said.

It really is a great thing that they are going to spend 12 billion more dollars of our money to get people into the community colleges.

But I must say-where are all those people going to work? Wal-mart can only hire so many people!

Do any of them really have a clue what is going on? Makes me wonder---Hey Obama! All of OUR jobs are overseas--hello? Can anyone hear me??

This is totally INSANE. NONE of these college graduates are going to get jobs-- our government has given US businesses huge tax breaks so they could give away ALL the high paying jobs to overseas countries! They really are going to have to work for Wal-Mart or McDonald's! Big companies now hire cheap overseas labor to do everything at half the cost (AND they do it wrong so the few remaining Americans have to fix the foreign mess at 3x the cost...) all in the name of showing profits for the stock market. This is crazy.

I think I will use some of the 12 billion to get my law degree-

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Monday, July 13, 2009

OH HOW I LOVE WAL-MART!

Government spending is on the rise to address the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression and an unemployment rate that has climbed to 9.5 percent.

I thought the cash for clunkers program was supposed to save us all!

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WE HAVE BECOME COMFORTABLY NUMB


The Treasury Department said Monday that the deficit in June totaled $94.3 billion, pushing the total since the budget year started in October to nearly $1.1 trillion.

The deficit has been propelled by the huge sum the government has spent to combat the recession and financial crisis, combined with a sharp decline in tax revenues.

Paying for wars in Iraq and Afghanistan also is a major factor.
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"When the stupid lead the stupid--they both fall!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

TED NUGGET FREE SONG SWEDEN ROCKS

Free for All [Explicit]
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YES SOME THINGS ARE FREE - FREE MUSIC

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There are tons of spam emails out there, and spam twitter posts, and these are all SCAMS as far as I'm concerned. How do I know? Because I've ordered a few, and found out that they weren't telling me anything I hadn't already learned in a year of trial-and-error. It's all common sense actually, once you dive into it. They try to steer you in a certain direction, and then up-sell you all kinds of crap and subscriptions. That is their only goal-- to upsell you subscriptions to more of their junk!!!

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