Friday, October 9, 2009

In a surprise, Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize, Kanye West pissed, BEVERLY PERDUE has a meltdown

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OSLO – President Barack Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday as a stunned Kanye West interrupted the speech proclaiming that North Carolina Governor Beverly Perdue should have won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Secret Service stormed the platform and Kanye West was reported to have vanished into thin air. It seems that he has some teleporting ability's - Later sources reveled that he and Taylor Swift had went into hiding. This is Kanye's bravest attempt yet to draw publicity for his failed new release.

I mean to interrupt the President.


Beverly Perdue (THE WORST GOVERNOR IN NORTH CAROLINA HISTORY) was spotted outside a Raleigh plastic surgeons office beating on the door, as the meltdown and the pain of not getting the Nobel Peace Prize seemed to reveal who she really is - Terminator Fembot!

It was also reported that she was seen smoking a cigarette after the skin had been replaced at a local bar with California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (who was called into destroy her if need be)

It has been reported by many news outlets that Beverly Perdue wears many different faces, this is just another! Beverly had been nominated (by her 2nd hubby) for the Peace Prize and had already prepared to pay the United Nations off to receive the award.

Nobel observers were shocked by the unexpected outburst of Kanye West and the Beverly incident. White House press secretary Robert Gibbs  woke up to the news a little before 6 a.m. EDT.

The White House had no immediate comment on Bev Perdue and the speech, which took the administration by surprise. Too bad Ms Perdue, no one can outwit the Joker (Obama) all's well that ends well.

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Thursday, October 8, 2009

GRANDFATHER ROBS GRANDSON FOR CRACK | THE DAILY SCOOP OF STUPIDITY - SUPERDADSPEAKS ON YAHOO ANSWERS


GRANDFATHER ROBS GRANDSON FOR CRACK | THE DAILY SCOOP OF STUPIDITY - SUPERDADSPEAKS ON YAHOO ANSWERS

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WHEN THE WORLD BECAME STUPID | THE DAILY SCOOP OF STUPIDITY - SUPERDADSPEAKS ON YAHOO ANSWERS

WHEN THE WORLD BECAME STUPID | THE DAILY SCOOP OF STUPIDITY - SUPERDADSPEAKS ON YAHOO ANSWERS

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THE NEW FACE OF AMERICA

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Possible for man and woman to reproduce dogs?

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Yahoo Question: Possible for man and woman to reproduce dogs? This old man on the street told me today that when two people have sex it is possible for them to produce a dog if the mother eats dog food during the growth of the zygote. apparently the dog food contains DNA that can fuse with the DNA of the zygote, mutating it, causing it to grow and function as a dog...not sure how to determine the breed though. I am with the old man and think this is highly possible. what do you think? thank you.

Mr. C thinks that you should try it! I mean it did work for Hillary and Bill -If this where the case then most of America would be producing Ronald McDonald mutated babies! I'm afraid that you and the idiot that fed you this load of shit all need medication. Go to Applebee's and have a beer -

DID YOU KNOW?

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The United States is China's biggest trade partner. China sent $338 billion in goods here last year. Beijing is Washington's biggest creditor, with more than $800 billion invested in government debt. American automakers look to China's growing market to propel future sales.

Im a 16 year old girl and im in love with a 47 year old Man is that wrong? YAHOO ANSWERS

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Yahoo Question: Im a 16 year old girl and im in love with a 47 year old Man is that wrong? i love him to death , and he loves me too , we want to get married . is it wrong one of my friends broke up with me becuz i love him she says im a slut . i dont care because he isnt a bad person at all he has the most nicest heart ever ! am i wrong PLZ HELP?

Dont get me started on this one - I imagine that you have been abused at some point in your life for you to even fathom the idea that you are in love with a 47 year old man.Where in the hell are your parents? Your Friends? Teachers? Is there not anyone that you can talk to about the PREDATOR?

Life truly is like a box of chocolates, but in the case your are surely headed for a life of pain, torment and sadness. I will not call your question stupid, I will call the asshole that is abusing you mentally with this crock of shit STUPID! Run as far away from this as fast as you can, Please - "sigh" what the hell is wrong with people?

YAHOO ANSWERS - Why do we wear cloths in public? Yahoo Answers

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Mr. C thinks that you must be really bored. First it is spelled CLOTHES, even I know that and I cant spell for shit! Second, have you looked around at the affect McDonald's has had on our culture? I for one think that people should wear MORE clothes.

Nobody really wants to conduct daily business completely nude. Nobody wants to walk around looking at fat Fannies and  inch Willy's -  Its that simple - and I might mention that is against the law. Sometimes you should think before you post such a stupid question.

Think of it - Oprah naked on TV! Yuck! Better yet, Hillary giveing a bitch speech - naked! You my friend are stupid -

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

STUPIDITY ON YAHOO ANSWERS : Hot glue spilt on my penis?

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This was a question posted on the w omen's health section of Yahoo Answers!  I can only imagine what this fool was doing as well as thinking as he was posting this question. But, the world is full of stupid people, so with that said I will answer with the uppermost respect.

Mr. C answers: The only way to get the glue off is by using a Brillo pad to scrub it away. See it's is that easy.

Remote Controlled Fart Machine No. 2

STUPID PEOPLE ON YAHOO ANSWERS : Why do children smell stale after being in the corner all day for punishment ?

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Hey Mr. STUPID! Go and find the closest intersection and jump out in traffic! You are stupid!

Sarcasm is the body's natural defense against stupid - funny decal / sticker

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

SEND ME YOUR QUESTIONS - MR C OFFERS GREAT ADVICE ON ANY TOPIC

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gjcollins@ymail.com every email will be given top priority ! No question too dumb! Let the good times roll!

Is tweeting about your miscarriage in bad taste?

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Madison-based workplace advice columnist Penelope Trunk sent a message on Twitter late last month while having a miscarriage of her unwanted pregnancy during a meeting of her company's board. "I'm in a board meeting. Having a miscarriage. Thank goodness," Trunk tweeted to her 19,000 followers, "because there's a (expletive) 3-week hoop-jump to have an abortion in Wisconsin."

Mr. C thinks that people will do anything to become a fame whore! To bad her mother didn't delete her.

What's The prayer to become a virgin again i need it badly - the cure for whoreism

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Yahoo Question: What's The prayer to become a virgin again i need it badly? I heared there was a prayer does anyone know it?

Mr. C answers -  Why do you need to become a whore  virgin again? Just wondering? Are things starting to fall out apart?

I'm sleepy with all these typos...You are stupid.

ETERNITY by Calvin Klein Eau de Parfum Spray

YAHOO ANSWERS - MORE STUPID PEOPLE

Yahoo Question: I accidentally swallowed a whole peppermint? Will I be okay? I was sitting here watching T.V. sucking on a peppermint and next thing I know I was accidentally swallowing it. I drank a ton of water afterward to make sure it went all the way down. I'm all freaked out now!

I would think that you will be ok since you did not choke on the peppermint - And just in case you forgot (or maybe you didn't know) Stomach acid dissolves everything that we eat. I was at Mcdonalds the other day and I accidentally swallowed an entire double cheeseburger when I saw this old lady's false teeth come out in her quarter Pounder.

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YAHOO ANSWERS - DID I HAVE SEX LAST NIGHT?

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Yahoo Question: Did I have sex last night? I blacked out last night and this guy was trying to get down my pants all night. I'm worried that when i blacked out he succeeded in getting my pants off despite the fact that my loser friends were supposed to take care of me.I'm a virgin and im freaking out right now because I was saving myself for someone i loved. How could I be able to tell without going to a doctor if i had sex or not?

Mr. C answers: Two words - Drunk Whore! Would seem fitting. And why would think that someone would just be able to answer this question? First, someone who is saving themselves would not have gotten so shitfaced and left your care in the hands of your friends. Second  - If this guy had been trying to get in your pants all night, why in the hell would you have stayed, not  to mention blacking out, leaving yourself vulnerable.

Mr. C thinks that you indeed have sex last night, with the whole group of people there, and I hear that a video is floating around the Internet - and I also hear that Mcdonalds was somehow involved.



YAHOO ANSWERS - WHAT CAN I USE TO GAG MY GIRL? How many inches does it take?

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Yahoo Question : Nothing mean or demening. She really wants it. and we are trying new things. I would like to know how many inches i need to make her gag a little and her eyes to get teary. I am overweight so i have to move things around but have a pretty good size. Can anyone help me with this? (be nice this is very serious question).

Mr. C answers: Why in the hell would you post something like this on Yahoo Answers? Hello? Do you think that everyone on Yahoo are experienced gaggers? Do you think it is a science or something? Dont get offended here but you have be the stupidest person ever! You need someone to rip you a new asshole.

Sigh - now on to the answer you are so desperately seeking. Lay flat on your back (on the bed) then as she is doing it, tell her you have something special for her, something that describes you as the loving person you are. Tell her to close her eyes an open her mouth really wide - the grab a couple doublecheese burgers that you have hidden under your bed and stuff them in her mouth, at least three at the same time!

I'm sure she will gag, and cry at the same time and hopefully puke all over your stupid ass! 

FANCY For Women By JESSICA SIMPSON eau de parfum

Why can't she tell me doesn't see a future with me?

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Yahoo Answers: Why can't she tell me doesn't see a future with me? My college sweetheart dumped me and the breakup was real messy, and it was a long term relationship. She never calls or texts, so about 6 weeks after we last spoke I sent her a text asking her "do you want me out of your life" and she never replied. Why can't she tell me that she wants me out of her life for good?

Mr. C thinks that it is amazing what links people will go to for validation -  You don't need a damn text message to realize that this relationship is probably over. Dude, it's been 6 weeks! Are you looking for her to tell you AGAIN that it's over? Looking into the crystal ball (Yahoo Answers) is not the answer. Moving on and enjoying your life is.

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YAHOO ANSWERS I LOST EVERYTHING IN LIFE - HELP

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Yahoo Question : How to get over the fact that you lost everything.?

I was born as an unwanted child, I've been through a lot in my life. I'm in my thirties now. I thought I'm a mature adult, I thought I'm strong enough to deal with everything now. But, maybe I'm wrong. I'm going through a tough time now, first I was diagnosise with cancer and lost my uterus which means I will never have my own child.

This really crashed me, cause the only reason to keep me positive is that someday I'll have my own family, my own kids. But now, it will never happen. And 2 weeks ago I lost my job cause the company I worked in is facing financial difficultity and had to let some of us go.

I have to say it's really hard to find a new job when I'm not very well educated and have to go back to hospital for my treatment a lot. I wish I had a real friend to talk to, but unfortunately, I have no friends or a boy friend. I even couldn't have a pet cause I'm allergic to them. I try to think positive, but I can't lie to myself, I know I'm not happy, I know I'm depressed. I really don't know what to do.

Throughout this entire post Mr. C notices that you keep saying to yourself over and over EVERYTHING that you can't do. Granted millions of people have suffered greater loss. I'm sorry to hear everything that you ave lost, BUT look around at what you have.You have now lost your job, and you are saying to yourself that you cant get another because your uneducated!The Secret (Extended Edition)

Mr. C thinks that life is too short to live it this way- get off your ass and do something different, nobody is going to give you anything in this life. Stop with the pity party already and look at you as a person, then begin to make make changes in the way you are looking at your circumstance! As long as you continue to think in the gutter, you will always be a victim of your own thoughts! Only you can change YOU-

Jump into everything this life has to offer and embrace only the good - This post has pissed me off- email me if ya want to talk about change, I could write the book! "sigh" gjcollins@ymail.com

YAHOO ANSWERS My friend is bisexual

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Yahoo Question:  im fine with it but she is into me.? how would you approach this. she literally just called me and asked if i would kiss her tomorrow. i mean that girls like my sister. im afraid. i dont know how to say no and be nice and still have her there for me.

Mr C answers: If this person is like your sister, then why are you afraid? Why in the holy hell would someone call another person and ask if they could kiss you tomorrow? Makes no sense my friend. The truth of the matter is YOU are the one that desperately wants to kiss your friend.

You need to talk to someone else about stuff such as this instead of seeking advice from random people. If your friend is the one you want to kiss, then I would advise against it. What is more important to you, looking stupid and getting your feelings hurt, or coming clean with your friend about you really feel! You decide.
Tan Lin

YAHOO ANSWERS - ARE PEOPLE REALLY THIS STUPID? HOW TO KILL A PUMPKIN

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Yahoo Question: It's still early, but soon the family and i will be out picking our pumpkins and carving scary faces into them as we do every year. This tradition, though, hardly seems worthwhile since our jack-o-lanterns never seem to make it past two weeks and by the time Halloween actually arrives, trick or treaters are frightened more by the mold and smell of rotting pumpkins than they are the scary faces. Is there any way to make our pumpkins last longer?

Well since you took the time to ask, Mr. C will gladly answer your question: Sometimes in life things are really simple if you just think things through - Now if the pumpkin is rotting before Halloween that would obviously mean that you are craving it to early - Solution?

I have it on good word that if you go out daily and rub the pumpkin and tell it how beautiful it is -  it will live longer. Let me know if it works. GEEZ
The Graveyard Dare

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Police: Son pleasures himself, then punches mom

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DADE CITY -- It all started about 7 p.m. Tuesday, authorities said, when a mother looked outside and saw her 19-year-old son masturbating in the back yard.

The mother yelled. The son, Antwan L. Grandberry, 19, walked around to theAntwangrandberry front of the house on 13th Street in Dade City and rang the doorbell, according to a Dade City Police report. The mother answered and began cursing and yelling at Grandberry, who then punched his mother in her face, the report said.

Grandberry, who is listed as unemployed, was arrested on a domestic battery charge and is being held in the Land O'Lakes jail in lieu of $500 bail.

What was he trying to do? Fertilize the grass? This is by far one of the stupidest things I have ever read! Get a job asshole. Geez! I wonder if he was still exposed while he was bitch slapping mom? now would have made a very funny video.

Mr C thinks mom should have grabbed the first thing handy (broomhandle) and beat his ass, then called the cops.

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Mr. C advises anyone that owns an i pod to purchase on of these ASAP! Hi-Fi speakers with dual 1" tweeters and 3" woofers, Remote LCD color display screen allows you to browse i Pod content, Charges the remote and your iPod while securely docked, RF remote control works from across the room and through walls, Compatible with all 30-pin dock able  i Pods, Includes remote.

You will not find this at a better price anywhere!  DLO iBoom JukeBox Speaker System for iPod

OH TO BE 13 AGAIN - YAHOO ANSWERS

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Yahoo Question: Do young boys get raped in a juvenile center? Im 13 and getting sent to a juvy center and im wondering if guards and older boys will rape me

Mr. C would love to answer this question: You (stupid) are 13 years old, on the Internet asking if you will get raped at a Juvenile Detention Center?

Oh to be 13 again, When I was 13 I was running around barefoot with my dog Abraham.

Truly amazing what today's youth are doing these days. Let me give you a heads up what will happen to you in the Juvy center, as you put it. You will be told when to eat, sleep, shower, and make phone calls. You will be told what you can watch on TV, what games you can play, and more often then not, be under video surveillance 24/7.

The food will taste like shit and most of your family will not want to visit you. Everything that you do will be scrutinized by the staff, and most of your privileges will probably be taken away in the first couple weeks. It is not a good place to be, but I don't think you care. 

You will soon learn that your bad behavior that landed you there was not worth it, but I doubt that you will learn anything from it. As far as getting raped, I seriously doubt that will happen to you. The best thing that it will do for you to hopefully make you realize that in a couple years you could end up in a state prison where you very possibly become somebody's toy.

Start taking your life seriously- there is too many good things out there. Sigh :(

HOW DO I LOOK LIKE A SLUT? YAHOO ANSWERS?

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This question is from....you guessed it, Yahoo Answers.  Yahoo Question: Someone help how do u look like a easy slut? How do u look like a Playboy girl?

Now peeps, this is a real person sitting on some computer actually asking the entire world for advice on how to look like a slut! What a better person to answer this question, than Mr. C himself. Ok stupid, picture this.

You are 30 years old everything on your body is either baggy, broke or infected. I possibly think that you may have at least three maybe four children all running around your mobile home in nothing but diapers.

I can see you sitting at the kitchen table chain smoking and wishing like hell that you had enough skills to be anything but a cashier at Burger King.

Your broke down Mazda sits in the yard because you don't have the 900 bucks it will take to make it drivable. Your dental situation is beyond repair!

You need dentures, but there again you can't afford them. Johnny, the trailer park drug dealer us passed out on the couch, and the smell of weed saturates your humble dwelling!

There you have it! How to look like a Slut! Stop asking such stupid questions, get your head out of your ass and stop wishing that you could be like the "rich sluts" of Hollywood! That is not real sweetie!

You are not Paris Hilton! Get an education, and respect your body and yourself!
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