Saturday, October 24, 2009

Healthcare will cost 1 TRILLION DOLLARS - Health lobbyists give away Lamborghinis to Congress for their support

Dear Congress,
Give ALL Americans the same health benefits that YOU enjoy on our dime already.  THEN we can talk about America's health plan!

Mr. C

Why do I feel like I'm trying to housebreak a dog, that doesn't seem to want to bother doing the right thing.

People, though universal healthcare is a nice idea, ANYTIME you have the government run a business, it FAILS and we pay for it (see Post Office for a monopoly that has failed).  The most recent and accurate estimates have the cost of this monstrosity at 1 Trillion.   They continue like this is a good thing, and something that Americans want and will pay for-- are they all insane?

Doesn't that bother anyone?  I'm sorry there is nothing really to laugh at here... this is beyond stupidity!  CALL AND WRITE your dumbass senators and representatives and tell them NO NO NO NO!  We do NOT have the money to spend on that.  It's like you or I going out and buying a Lamborghini-- right now.  We have enough sense to not do it, what in the hell is wrong with congress????

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Friday, October 23, 2009

THE TRUNK MONKEY



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MICHELLE OBAMA DOLLS AND OPRAH'S NEW DIET!


Just in time for the holidays - The Michelle Obama Doll collection! It is reported that the dolls are going for as much 8,000! In an effort to keep the spotlight on herself and her failing talk show, Oprah has just released photos of herself. She's is attempting to show her body without all that glam! This is going to be a hell of a showdown!





Annie Leibovitz shoots Obama family portrait

 Washington: Just released family photo of the Obama's in the green room at the White House! As soon as this photo was released, the calls started coming in! And boy was she pissed! I mean how could they dis me like this! I belong in the photo.


So in a effort to keep the country running smooth, the Obama's released another photo to give honors to the woman who financed the election!


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KFC to offer free chicken -- again

KFC is trying again, Big Oprah style! The fast-food company will offer a free piece of its grilled chicken to all U.S. customers on Monday, according to The Associated Press. It will be the third time in six months that the chain has offered a giveaway to promote its new menu item.

And this time they promise that the product will be available, and it will be quick and fast! The last promotion was lead by none other the the big cow herself God Oprah! The feedback was so horrible that this time they decided to leave the Queen of deep fried chicken out!


And big O is quite pissed! Sources close to Mr. C say that she big O is so up in arms that she had to be rushed to the ER! Imagine that big thang getting pissed! Whoa! No one could control her, as she ranted backstage "who the fuck do these people think they are" I am GOD she hissed! Staff  followed behind her as she ripped out big clumps of weave from her head! They tryed to get all the hair weave up but big O just kept yanking it out!

Oh Lawd! What will happen next!

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What are the benefits of underwear and panties?

Yahoo Question: What are the benefits of underwear and panties? I have friends (both guys and girls) who think it's cool to go commando.

I argue that underwear and panties covers our private parts because they are prone to leak, discharge, whatever!

I think we should wear underwear to protect our outer clothes.

This question may be an unmentionable but everybody dribbles from time to time and even the occasional skidmark from a dirty wipe. Not to mention other bodily fluids!

So what are the definitive benefits of underwear and panties?

Mr. C answers: I really tryed to leave this question alone, but I can't! I have never in my life ever thought wearing undergarments was to absorb body leakage and I have never had things seaping from my body! There are fucking diapers for that, they are called depends in case you didn't know.

So to answer your question, what is the purpose of wearing undergarments? It is what your fucking mother said to do, so shut the hell up and do it just in case you get in an accident! lmao! Some questions should never be asked!

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DO PEOPLE IN HELL PLEASURE THEMSELVES with masturbation?

Yahoo Question: Is watching people masturbate considered porn; or a sin? I am devoted Christian and wondering if it is a sin. I do not have lustful thoughts when watching pornography, so is it really a sin?

Mr. C answers: I'm sitting here reading your question and I'm thinking to myself that you are so full of shit!" I do not have lustful thoughts?: What the hell ever! LOL! what are you? Mary mother of God or some shit? And why pose this question on Yahoo Answers in the first place? Do you think the pope himself is going to answer your question! Geez!

According to the Bible we are all born in sin and everything we do considered a sin! According to Mr. C  you are a human being, and we all have certain thoughts that can lead to condemnation if you buy into the christian bullshit!

To answer your stupid question! You are going to hell in a handbasket! You should immediately throw your computer out and cleanse yourself chanting "I'm not gay" I'm not gay" over and over again! The fire of hell is going to scorch your porn loving ass! You are stupid my friend!

But, I cant complain - Keep asking the stupid questions, your making me rich.

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Thursday, October 22, 2009

BALLOON BOY: THE FLIGHT OF FALCON! FLY FALCON FLY!



Falcon says he has had enough! Little Falcon has reportedly ran away from home, and you guessed it! IN A HOT AIR BALLOON!   Falcon left a letter behind before he set out on his journey, saying that he was going to escape his fame whore driven father, Richard Heene.

Once Richard realized that Falcon had done, he became frantic and called 911 - 911 operators just laughed at him, stating - "Are you serious? Not again dumbass", and then hung up on Richard.

But this time it's real! Little Falcon broke into a balloon factory and hijacked the hot air balloon and set sail! He has enough experience to navigate that Balloon wherever he likes one expert told Mr. C. Richard Heene was spotted in his makeshift storm chaser malibu chasing the balloon carrying Falcon to freedom!

The national guard as well as the Air force are standing by in case Falcon needs any assistance! But they are loving the show! Little Falcon will lower the Balloon just enough over his fathers car, then the Asian wife will take the wheel, and just when Richard try's to grasp the basket, Falcon shoots back up and Richard drops back into the car!

 You can hear her cursing at Richard in Asian every time he misses! 

We've had enough of this couple, who thought it would be fun to fool the country into believing their 6-year-old son was in that runaway balloon - a hoax that had us all holding our breath.

Now the joke is on them! You Rock Falcon! We are all pulling for you!
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"THE BIGGEST LOSER"

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Yahoo Answers, Yes people really are this stupid

Yahoo Question: How much trouble can someone get for making a fake murder threat video? My friend made a video threatening to kill my cousin with a knife (he was laughing through the whole thing, it was all for fun) and my school found out about it - he is in big trouble through the school.

What can happen? My cousin knows all about it, he knows it was a joke video, but the school thinks it's serious and the police is involved. Can he get into any trouble?

Mr. C answers! Watch the news dumbass! Where is the hell are your brains? There is school violence all around us! Kids killing kids, kids killing parents, kids killing anything that moves! Who in their right mind would make a "fake" video pretending to kill someone! Somethings you just do not do!

You say the police are involved and they should be - your cousin, who I doubt made the video (I'm sure it was you) and I'm also sure you meant it) should be locked up ASAP. Stupid!

Oprah goes rogue, invites Palin on show Tuesday October 20, 2009 2:22 PM By Verne Gay

"In a world exclusive, Oprah Winfrey will announce that she is love with the former Alaska Govnor Sara Palin, and that they have carried on a torrid affair for the last two years.

"The Oprah Winfrey Show" to air Monday, Nov. 16, 2009. Winfrey will tell  Palin for the very first time on the national TV her true feelings - which will mark Palin's first interview to discuss her announcement to the world that she is a lesbian, "Going Rogue: An American Life" and her first-ever appearance on the "Oprah" show.

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin burst onto the national political scene as running mate for Sen. John McCain in the 2008 presidential election. Now, following her decision to step down as Governor of her home state of Alaska, and on the eve of the release of her first book, Palin will speak first to Oprah in a world exclusive interview on the decision to announce that she can no longer live in the closet.

This is interesting for a handful of reasons that she is coming out, and here's one - Oprah had denied reports that she and Gail King had been lovers for the past twenty years,

In other words, some people thought O was using  Gail to edit the Magazine O and in return the carpet was getting vacuumed by none other than O herself! , and jeez, that's not fair, is it?  Here is the statement issued by  Lezbo , Harpo!

"The item in today’s news  is categorically true [News agency's broke the story which said O had fallen madly in love with Sara Plain during the campaign and now is the time to tell America]. America is ready for change! Real Change! Sara Palin as the first lady - O as the first wife! What a combination! Two of the most powerful Lesbians in America running the country!

It is reported that Gail King is getting an army of lawyers ready to sue Palin for running "ROUGE" with O! 

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Apple Unveils Touch-Sensitive "Magic Mouse" for Macs

Apple does everything right, so these should be flying off the shelves at Mary Kay and Amway parties!  Early reviews by Engadget report that "the whole front of the unit provides a satisfying click".  Ladies get your pre-orders in early!  And fellas why not get yours too!  It's from Apple!

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Bad Halloween Costume Ideas for your Kids


The Pimp:  dress up your little man like this, and put dem bitches to werk!  It even comes with a cane so's he can whack them whores an' keep 'em in line!  Forget about the candy, cold hard cash is da sweet.

What kind of parent lets their kid go out as a suicide bomber?  It's not just stupid, it's wrong.  Love how the little bastard has his hands on the detonation switch like he's ready to blow everyone around him up...


This tragedy is beyond stupid.  Nothing smacks of cool like a white kid trying to act ghetto!  But it's Kanye West approved, so that must make it acceptable right?



If you want to do Halloween right, go with the traditional scary-as-hell masks.  That's all you really need...

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The BEST house to visit on Halloween - all the Skittles you want!



Doesn't that make you want to taste the rainbow?  NASTY!!!!

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Facebook Pokes - could land you in jail!

It was bound to happen sooner or later... but someone poked either too much or too hard and they were arrested for poking someone on Facebook :)

Helen Popkin reports that Shannon D. Jackson, a 36-year-old "poking perp" from Hendersonville, Tenn., violated an order of protection via that poke, and faces up to 11 months, 29 days in jail and a possible fine of up to $2,500.  So watch those fingers everyone!

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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Ballon Boy dad Richard Heene raises money with the FALCOTRON CHILD LOCATOR


In an effort to raise money for his upcoming legal defense, Richard Heene unveiled his latest scientific breakthrough:  THE FALCOTRON.  Handily stored on your key ring, you simply press the green button on Falcon's forehead and it will instantly tell you where in the world Falcon is hiding.  Perfect for news reporters and CNN staff so they can uncover Falcon's true whereabouts the next time he flies in a mylar-and-duct-tape spaceship or gets sucked into a tornado!
 
If you feel you must donate to their plight, please do not feed the Heenes but rather feed me instead to keep the stupidity rolling by clicking the donation link on in the left pane!

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Did you give $81 to foreign oil countries in SEPTEMBER 2009?

Sometimes statistics can't be trusted, but this sounds about right:  "Last year, we engaged in essentially the biggest transfer of wealth in human history due to oil being at $140/barrel" according to Zachary Shahan in the article he wrote for CleanTecnica. The US spent 25 BILLION in September alone, just for oil.  That measures out to over half a million every minute of that month!  Or, to bring it closer to home, every person in the US gave over $81 to foreign countries in September, or over $207 for each household.  Free money for them!

Why are we sitting on our oil?  Mr. C thinks that the US government is waiting for everyone else's oil to dry up so it can gouge the rest of the world... but too bad they'll have alternate energy by then and won't need us!  So let's start tapping our reserves NOW while we need to!

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Monday, October 19, 2009

WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN? GOING GREEN?


It seems today that everything is going green (to save the planet) is politically correct. I'm not sure what going green really means in the big picture. When is it going to become politically correct to NOT be a lazy shitbag who can hardly bend over?

 This weekend I went to visit a place that has not been affected by worthless shitbags as of yet. The beauty is unsurpassed and the community as a whole work together to keep the place nice for the tourist and themselves. Mr. C has been a resident of this community his entire life on and off.

I have just a few points I'd like to make about going green , save the planet, blah blah blah. Number one is something we all learned as kids. If you have trash, put it in the trash can. That simple. Most people today are to freaking lazy and worthless to even throw trash in the trash can. I was looking around at the palm trees, white sand and beautiful sky overlooking the ocean, when what do I see?

A budlight can that some drunk whore just decided to toss into the sand! So of course I had to write something on this. It may seem petty and childish to some, but not to me. Sometimes the simplest things we all can do can have the greatest outcome. Dont throw your trash around people. Pick the fucking shit up and throw it in the trash can where it belongs.




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Sunday, October 18, 2009

BALLOON BOY HOAX EXPOSED


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Just as Mr. C predicted. It was a hoax. Read the entire article here.  Richard and Mayumi Heene where shopping at Wal-mart (go figure) when the story broke. What a sad day when a parent would put his child through all that trauma just to get his "fame whore" ass on TV.

Talk about crying wolf! What the hell are they going to do if something really does happen to Falcon? Plug a reality TV show called "Where's Falcon"

You have just given a whole new meaning to the game hide and seek. Mr. C can only imagine the things you have done!  Easter Egg hunting sure must be fun at the Heene house!