Saturday, October 31, 2009

VAMPIRE WARS ON FACEBOOK ROCKS! ADD ME





BEV PERDUE TOOK HER REAL FACE OFF FOR HALLOWEEN


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Girlfriend's poop fell on the floor in front of me? YAHOO ANSWERS! WHERE THE STUPIDEST PEOPLE HANG OUT!

Yahoo Answers: i was hanging out with my girlfriend (or exgirlfriend) the other day and she was walking in front of me. a ball of poo dropped out between her legs onto the floor and i nearly stepped on it. i was so grossed out that i said i needed to go home and i haven't seen her since or answered her calls. how do i act like this never happened or dump her without telling her what happened?

Mr. C answers: What hell? Are you dating a freaking horse? Or maybe even a goat! I think if I ever saw a ball of shit fall out of someone that I was with, I would immediately  stop what I was doing, hold my nose and scream "What the F*** is that" "You nasty whore"and then run away.

And if Id ever been with her---I would visit the nearest health clinic.

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Friday, October 30, 2009

THE NUMBER ONE HALLOWEEN MASK OF 2009


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Clinton faces Pakistani anger at Predator attacks

ISLAMABAD – U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton came face-to-face Friday with Pakistani anger over U.S. aerial drone attacks in tribal areas along the Afghan border, a strategy that U.S. officials say has succeeded in killing key terrorist leaders.

In a series of public appearances on the final day of a three-day visit marked by blunt talk, Clinton refused to discuss the subject, which involves highly classified CIA operations.

She would say only that "there is a war going on," and the Obama administration is committed to helping Pakistan defeat the insurgents and terrorists who threaten the stability of a nuclear-armed nation.






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NC MAN LEAVES 1.2 MILLION DOLLARS TO CATS

A Raleigh man has left his nearly $1.7 million estate to four North Carolina cat charities.

WRAL-TV reported Thursday that Emil Campbell died suddenly last month and left instructions for his lawyer to bequeath his entire estate to cats. Attorney Bobby Khot says Campbell left the money to four charities: Snowflake Animal Rescue, Marley's Cat Tales, SAFE Haven for Cats and Second Chance Pet Adoptions.

A spokeswoman for Snowflake Animal Rescue says her organization typically gets less than $6,000 a year in donations. She says she had to read the letter about Campbell's donation twice before she believed it. Khot says his client didn't work at a high paying job but was very frugal and saved money. He says Campbell had one surviving daughter and he left her nothing.

Well folks, I must say when I read this I was shocked that this fool left his money to a bunch of cats and not for the betterment of his own daughter or another human being for that matter. When I read that he didn't make alot of money and was just frugal, all I could think was "this is such bullshit" The f***** probably stole this money from the company he worked for and just never got caught! What a shitbag! I mean for christsakes CATS? STUPID

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Arab rumors link H1N1 flu and vaccine to the Freemasons

This is the best one yet... according to the arab world, the Freemasons have concocted a plan to commit genocide by this flu and convenient vaccine!  Other theories over there cause waves of panic, following rumors that H1N1 vaccines destroy the immune system and reduce fertility rates by 80 percent.  LOL

You have a better chance of being turned into a pig than that last rumor... however Mr C will let others be the "guinea pigs for this vaccine!

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H1N1 Vaccine production skips normal testing phases! Governor Schwarzenegger experiences side effects...

Folks, here's the deal.  This vaccine was "fast-tracked" to production because Obama declared a "national emergency".  That means that many clinical trials were skipped, and makers are allowed to add ingredients which are not "approved" to be added in their original design!  This smacks of a conspiracy and massive profits. You have to weigh the benefits and risks.

The vaccine could very well have side-effects, as Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger recently suffered after being innoculated with the largely-untested vaccine!

So far, though a few have died as is the case with the ordinary flu, the vast majority recover from this flu.   Side effects can occur from the vaccine-- it is not 100% safe-- and they have tested this vaccine only on normal, healthy children and do not know how it reacts with other patients.   Make an educated decision--- don't do what the government tells you to do just because!

This video aired on CBS and appears to look at things neutrally.  Give it a look and decide for yourself!





Watch CBS News Videos Online


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Thursday, October 29, 2009

HOW LONG Does It Take You TO SHOWER? YAHOO STUPID

Yahoo Question: HOW LONG Does It Take You TO SHOWER? me, i can shower and shave usually under 30 minutes, depending on how thoroughly i want to scrub my a** ,lol

Mr. C answers: Well that depends on why you are asking? Who gives a rats ass how long anyone showers man? Are you a F***** retard?  Sometimes I wonder what in the hell goes on in the mind of someone who ask question's like this. I have never stood in the shower and compulsively scrub my a**!

It has never been that dirty. GET A LIFE FREAK! Nobody wants to share in your jerking sessions in the shower. YOU ARE STUPID!

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GUNSHOTS FIRED AT BRITTANY SPEARS HOUSE

It was reported that neighbors of Brittany Spears awoke in the wee hours of the morning to a frantic Brittany out on her veranda screaming frantically that someone was firing gunshots at her. She was screaming so loud that neighbors called police, and when they arrived it was discovered that a generator a couple blocks away had fired up due to a power outage.

My question is why in the hell if she even thought someone was firing shots would you go out in the open and scream? Why not just call the damn police? or hide somewhere in that fat ass mansion that she lives? I think it wasnt a generator at all, I think it was Kanye West really shooting at her. Maybe even Miley?

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Miley's own fans have voter her the biggest slut of 2009

Miley's own fans have voter her the biggest slut of 2009, pushing Britney Spears to #2, and Kanye West to #3 according to a poll of 50,000 teenage fans.  Fans quoted her trying to act all "slutty" and dating a 20-yr old guy, doing some kind of pole dance, and actively mocking Asians and how popular they are for their sexual acts as some of the reasons why she was voted the biggest slut of 2009.

Kanye, not surprisingly, was allegedly pissed that he wasn't given his award for being the biggest SLUT as he's been working hard for that honor for years.  He conceded that his closest competitor, Britney, should have won the award and Miley did not deserve to win over Britney or himself!

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Miley Cyrus voted biggest B*tch over Britney Spears and Kanye West

Miley's own fans have voter her the biggest bitch of 2009, pushing Britney Spears to #2, and Kanye West to #3 according to a poll of 50,000 tweenage fans.  Fans quoted her trying to act all "grown up" and dating a 20-yr old guy, doing some kind of pole dance, and actively mocking Asians as some of the reasons why she was voted the biggest bitch of 2009.

Kanye, not surprisingly, was allegedly pissed that he wasn't given his award for being the biggest bitch as he's been working hard for that honor for years.  He conceded that his closest competitor, Britney, should have won the award and Miley did not deserve to win over Britney or himself!

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Wal-Mart wants you, even after you're dead! Now selling caskets!

What a strange, strange thing... would have ever thought Wallyworld would sell caskets.  Guess this proves that they really want to be the one place that sells everything, so they can shut down all competition!

Wal-Mart executives plan to sell you everything from birth until death, and soon stores will double as mortuaries where you can rest eternally in your Wal-Mart coffin next to your favorite isle!  That is the next stage of the "Wal-Mart unto Death" campaign which was revealed today.  So the next time you visit for a trip for that special item you must have, you can visit granny on your way to the checkout lane!  You can even buy flowers from the deli and drop them off on her casket on display.  Nice!

Funeral homes everywhere are alarmed as they are under-pricing them of course, in typical Wal-Mart fashion.  But the funny thing is, in typical Wal-Mart fashion, this company does not actually produce anything but re-sells everything.  Well, Mr. C knows their supplier for caskets-- they have a website too and you can get them at the same price (or lower) from their source!  The caskets come from Star Legacy Funeral Network, Inc., a company based in McHenry, Ill., that sells the same caskets as Wal-Mart for about the same price — some less — on its site, along with many others.

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Free 2 day shipping on eligible books from Amazon



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YAHOO ANSWERS ARE PEOPLE REALLY THIS STUPID?

Yahoo Question: Would you kill a gay person? What about a Jew? Or Irish person? Or a brown person? Ok, so people have been implying that I cannot ask an insulting question. I just wanted to assure you that I can.

Mr. C answers: First I would ask why you would ask such a question? Are you a child f#*#*# catholic priest? Oh! maybe you are a closet gay Nazi skinhead? Do you really want to see what the end of the rainbow taste like?

My friend it is people like you that just keep making me richer and richer with your stupidity.

You should talk to someone about what is going on in your head. I might suggest a very old Catholic Priest, one that keeps late night hours drinking scotch in the nude. You suck!

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Yahoo Questions: How do i get Jesus to shaves me? Since I'm a sinner and i can't shave myself

Yahoo Question: How do i get Jesus to shaves me? Since I'm a sinner and i can't shave myself.

Mr. C answers: There are multitudes of people named Jesus (Mexico) that would just love to shave your stupid ass.

I would think that if you got on your knees (praying position)that it would be more exciting.

YOU ARE STUPID! Find a cliff and slip.
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Could Noah still get a woody when he was 800 years old?

Yahoo Question: Could Noah still get a woody when he was 800 years old? He still had 150 years to go. That's a long time to be impotent.

Mr. C answers: I will assume that you are talking about an erection? And not the shittim wood that Noah collected to "erect" the ark? My question to you is why? Times were different back then, and I'm sure that Noah banged out everything with a hole until he died. You are going straight to hell in a handbasket son! Repent!


Spiritual Journey with Dark Chocolate?

Yahoo Question:  What im really asking is if dark chocolate can give u a high, i've read that the aztecs used dark chocolate to go into spiritual journeys(ie. they got high). my professor even acknowledged this.

Incidentally, dark chocolate contains more than twice the amount of anandamide and its cousins as does milk chocolate. Even so, don't expect your next chocolate binge to give you an all-time high. You'd probably need to eat 30 kg of the stuff to match the effect of marijuana.

Mr. C answers: What you are suggesting is by eating that much chocolate you can go on journey?  Spiritual enlightenment from chocolate? Interesting. I have something better that will make your head spin greater than any drug or food. Its called a tread mill stupid.


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Palin was paid $1.25M for book while in office SOLD TO THE HIGGEST BIDDER


I would like for someone to tell me exactly what this lady has accomplished in her life that the entire world wants to hear what she has to say? Don't get me wrong here anyone can write whatever they want and get paid big bucks but...Sara Palin is not worth a 1.25 million dollar book deal! "Going Rouge" is the number one seller on Amazon right now and I can't wait to read it ( of course I will not be buying it until I see it in a thrift store)

What do people think she is going to say in this book? Is she going to talk about her long carrear in politics (2 years) ? Hey she might tell everyone about her husbands fishing business, or how she and her husband sleep in separate bedrooms. Interesting what we as Americans will spend our money on.


The only thing that went "Rouge" about Sara Palin was her 16 year old daughter.


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Monday, October 26, 2009

Wayward pilots were working on their laptops updating Facebook

WASHINGTON – Two Northwest Airlines pilots have told federal investigators that they were updating there Facebook pages using their laptop computers,which is in violation of company policy while their plane overflew their Minneapolis destination by 150 miles, the National Transportation Safety Board said Monday.

 The pilots — Richard Cole of Salem, Ore., the first officer, and Timothy Cheney of Gig Harbor, Wash., the captain — said in interviews conducted over the weekend that they where so many gift request for Farmville, and all the other apps that they had to respond or risk losing coins and friends.

Investigators cached both facbook pages and logged the updates. Richard Cole stated in one update "In flight, drinking Jack and Coke" Timothy Cheney's updates included "Drunk flight attendant bouncing off my c***! Lovin it"

Both stated that they were not fatigued and didn't fall asleep, just having a little fun on Facebook.

The pilots were out of communication with air traffic controllers and their airline for more than an hour and didn't realize their mistake until contacted by a flight attendant, the board said. Authorities became so alarmed that National Guard jets were readied for takeoff.

The White House Situation Room alerted senior White House officials, who monitored Northwest Flight 188 with its 144 passengers and five crew members as the Airbus A320 flew across a broad swath of the mid-continent completely out of contact with anyone on the ground.

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Sunday, October 25, 2009

Top New Halloween Horror Games 2009

'Tis the Season for zombie-slaying and alien gut-splattering!  These are the best new games out there now-- or soon will be-- for good old fashioned horror'n'gore:



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Madoff associate Jeffry Picower drowns (from guilt)

The biggest benefactor from the Madoff scam, Jeffry Picower, has been praised as a philanthropist.  Well, the BILLIONS of dollars he got from Madoff were NOT his and it is easy to be a big philanthropist with other people's hard-earned money.  On 10/25 he was found dead in the pool of one of his luxurious mansions.  Did he die from drowning in water, or by drowning in his own guilt?  Either way, the feds should confiscate all the remaining money from the estate and use it to pay down those who lost from Madoff's bullshit.  It's not like Picower needs it, the company he's keeping now doesn't care about money.

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Drop the F-Bomb in Public and Go to Jail in Kansas?

Mike Shahrokhi, of Overland Park, KS, faces possible jail time and fines for using the "F" word during an altercation stemming from road rage with another driver.  Though there is a time and a place for going off on another person-- is it right for someone to be arrested for cussing?

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I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears

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Funny social networking status messages that are sure to cause a stir on your page! 

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in her shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

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Social networking update status messages that are sure to get your friends laughing!

It takes 42 muscles to frown and only four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me.


Be careful whose toes you step on today because they might be connected to the foot that kicks your ass tomorrow"

Social networking update status messages that are sure to get your friends laughing! 

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"You shouldn't compare yourself to others they are more screwed up than you think." 


Avatar (Two-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo) [Blu-ray]Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Widescreen Edition)




Don't talk about yourself so much... we'll do that when you leave.

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Social networking update status messages that are sure to get your friends laughing! 

Did anyone ever wonder why most preachers are sooo happy on Sunday? It's payday

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Social networking update status messages that are sure to get your friends laughing! 

Learn Calculus in 20 minutes!

Mr C is going to deviate for a moment and have a moment devoted to education, since our educational system in this country sucks, and schools are reducing staff (and time in school for kids) with all the budget problems going around.

So kids, buckle up since you are going to learn calculus in 20 minutes! There will be a quiz!  It would probably help to chug a liter of some energy drink, or get some of whatever this kid is taking...




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H1N1 Swine Flu Mutation Captures More Hollywood Victims!

The star of HOUSE, Hugh Laurie, has recently suffered through an attack of the new mutated H1N1 Swine Flu virus.  The network is scrambling to change all references from House to Haus in all the past syndicated episodes, in order to keep panic to a minimum.  They are betting that nobody will notice.



Other recent victims include Christina Aguilera and her baby



And Paris Hilton suffered through a bout as well, though the changes really aren't as noticable on her.  She says that she feels the same and confirmed this by getting down on all fours and posing for a camera

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H1N1 Swine Flu National Emergency - New Mutations in the Virus!

In an effort to stall the spread of this epidemic, Obama has declared a national emergency which is just in time as the swine flu virus has mutated into a more powerful version.  Vaccinations are pouring from the reserves, and declaring a national emergency was a good way to stoke public fear and stimulate sales of all things anti-viral.  This also comes at an interesting time, when congress is voting on putting us 1 Trillion more in debt with a new national health plan...

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The new form of the virus has the ability to rapidly morph tissue, with the effect of making you develop pig-ish features.  Several prominent political figures as well as endearing starlets have been stricken with these changes.