Saturday, January 16, 2010

says grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying.

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Can think of anything to say on your status messages for FACEBOOK! Repost these at your own RISK! wanted to burn some calories today, so I set fire to a fat kid.

The Accidental Billionaires: The Founding of Facebook A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius and Betrayal

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Funny status messages found on Facebook - thinks that nothing tears a family apart like adultery. Or a pack of wolves.

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Intersting FACEBOOK status messages! REPOST AT YOUR OWN RISK - I saw a sign in a public toilet the other day. It said 'Please leave this toilet in the condition that you would have liked to have found it in.' So I left it with a porn magazine and a line of coke.

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THE PEOPLE OF FACEBOOK! If you fix it they will eat.


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The People of FACEBOOK! Increase your friend list!



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Friday, January 15, 2010

Very Funny Facebook status messages -I danced with a fottball player in a line at the bank because that's how i roll.

Please put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who is an idiot. Idiots affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for stupidity, but we can raise awareness. 93% wont copy and paste this, mainy because they're too stupid to know how to copy and paste. Will YOU make this your status for at least one hour?

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Very Funny Facebook status messages - These messages are free to use! Feel free to copy and paste into your Facebook status box! Updated daily!

Next time you call in Sick to work, tell em you have Anal Blindness..... If they ask what that is? Tell em, "I don't see my ass coming to work."



Thursday, January 14, 2010

Obama tells banks: `We want our money back'

President Barack Obama told banks Thursday they should pay a new tax to recoup the cost of bailing out foundering firms at the height of the financial crisis. "We want our money back," he said.

Our money? I'm sure you are referring to the American people? 


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IM SO SCARED, MY PARENTS ARE MAKING BABIES!

Mr. C can you help? Question- I'm soooo scared I saw astroglide Lub for sex in my mom and dads room! Ok it was a few days ago and my mom told me to get her phone charger and she said it was in her nightstand so i went in and grabbed it, but then I saw this purple bottle, and on the front it said "AstroGlide" and i didn't know what it was? so i looked at the back and it said "Make Your Sex Life Better" or something along those lines. and i was like OMG!

My mom has talked to me about sex. I know about it! im 13 almost 14 and im sooooo scared. Should I talk to my mom about it? Should I tell her I saw it? Do my parents still have sex? This is scary!!

Ive never known about my parents doing it. I know where babies come from, but i was totally caught off guard when I saw it! That night i cried myself to sleep, i haven't talked to my mom sense I found it. and she has been trying to gusse whats wrong with me! someone help!

Mr. C answers: What are you crying for? You see that is the secret ingredient used to make baby's! If you don't use it and have a baby - They will grow up stupid.

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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Mr. C is on the air go ahead caller........

Caller: I want to be a weather man but don't want to go to school cuz it takes too long. Can I just print up a diploma from the internet saying I went to weather college. I think all I'll need to do is step outside everyday to get my weather report. 
 
Mr. C answers:  Well lets see...Weather people don't make that much money...Being a shrink is much better and the $$ is better. THINK BIG STUPID!

Mystery Object Whizzes by Earth - Is Sally Struthers Returning?


They are guessing it to be a natural meteor, or an artificial object. Personally, it has to be Sally Struthers returning to Earth, coming back from scouring the universe for more food...

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States Lowering High School Graduation Standards for benefit of Stupid Kids

More evidence that America loves stupidity... states have begun lowering their standards for graduation from high schools. What will the future hold for the US?

The standards have been lowered in response to fears that more minorities will fail the exams, and LAWSUITS from groups that say that the tests are unfair to students with disabilities, non-native speakers of English and students attending schools with fewer educational resources.

Whatever happened to encouraging excellence in schools, and striving to keep America at the top of the chain?  Is this another initiative by Bev Perdue?


Good to know that not only the meek shall inherit the Earth, but the stupid morons will too...

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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

www.stupidassquestions.com question of the day! I am in charge of my life! Arent I?

Today’s Stupid Ass Question: I am in charge of physical activity at an old folks home. I hate it. Do you think anyone would notice if I left for a few hours, had a few smokes, lunch & maybe stopped at the store for a six pack?

Half of them are blind and the other half don’t even know their own names soooooo who would be the wiser?

Mr. C answers:  Well lets c....Just quit and buy some fishnets and a leather jacket, the $$ is much better.
I love this site! Click here to visit!
  
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Monday, January 11, 2010

It's OFFICIAL: Stimulus Package was a FAKE and a Complete Failure!

Really, is anyone surprised?  According to the AP:  "Spend a lot or spend nothing at all, it didn't matter, local unemployment rates rose and fell regardless of how much stimulus money Washington poured out for transportation."


Now Obama wants more!!!!!  WTF that is actually insulting.  If Obama and the rest of Congress want money, they better start putting out instead of raping the taxpayers again.


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What are some really cool text that I can send my lover? Mr C answers shocking questions.

Dear Mr C. I see that you answer lots of questions on this site, so I have one to ask. What are some really cool text that I can send my lover. I get lonely sitting in my house (alone) all the time. I get bored with the internet (porn) and he does not seem to be interested in communication.

I want to catch his attention with some really cool (sexy) text messages that will make him want to rush over and lavish me with some much needed attention.

 Mr C answers: Thanks for the Question - Text message? Are you kidding? You want a magic text message that will send him running to your house? Can you not walk, drive, call? Or have you stuffed yourself with too many double cheeseburgers that you can function as an adult! McDonald's: Behind The Arches

You sit there and ask me such a stupid question as this? You are "bored" looking at porn? I tell ya what! Instead of the "magic text" send him a picture message! That should get the trick done! Chew a couple more cheeseburgers and snap away! YOU ARE STUPID! and making me very rich! McDonald's Parody: i'm hatin it Black T-Shirt

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www.stupidassquestions.com question of the day!

StupidAss Questions .com  of the day: I don't feel good unless I have a pot of coffee every day, & fifth of whiskey at night. My husband is threatening to leave cuz of this. I see no other way. I also eat: Breakfast: large cheese cake, Lunch: everything pizza (just for me) Dinner: subway sub & 2 orders McDonald’s fries.

My husband says... it's unhealthy. The way I see it, you only live once. Do you see a problem?

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To answer this question click the comment box!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Killing Kids with Toys, the Wal-Mart / China way of Heavy Metal Poisoning

Wal-Mart loves China over the US. Why not? The ever-inventive Chinese will copy any product illegally. They don’t care. They flood the market with knock-offs and crappy products. They do not care about health, safety, or human concerns. They ship drywall into our homes that makes us sick and destroys our plumbing—and don’t reimburse us for it. They rip us off. Now it seems to avoid the ban on LEAD in products shipped to the US, they substitute FAR DEADLIER CADMIUM in products and ship them to us!  The most contaminated piece analyzed in lab testing performed for the AP contained a startling 91 percent cadmium by weight- pure death!

The US needs to BAN all commerce with China. For starters, it will guarantee that America will start making things again—we’ll have to.  What the hell is so special about "made in China"?  Why do we do business with a lawless nation anyway? Their human-rights record is atrocious— so we must do it all for profit and greed. And other than a “recall/oopsie”, what does Wal-Mart care they get everything from China as long as it contributes to their 6-billion-a-year profit? Wal-Mart: killing America 1 import at a time… enough is enough. No more excuses. We really need to boycott Wal-Mart.  And remove all career politicians from office.

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FACEBOOK PROFILES that will have u asking "Got Milk" If women have to wear bras, fat men should too!


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Facebook Groups! Join today! men who live in fear that their grossly fat wives will roll over them in bed and crush the life out of them!!


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FACEBOOK PROFILES - Looking for someone who can appreciate the finer things in life - must have food.


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THE PEOPLE OF FACEBOOK! If you fix it they will eat, well at least some of them ...see below!


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ALL TIME STUPID FACEBOOK! The Adkins diet gone really bad.....


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FRIEND REQUEST ANYONE? Hey Im looking for a ride to Wal-mart! BUT Can you stop at Mcdonalds on the way?


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PLEASE ADD ME ON YOUR PROFILE! IM HUNGRY TO MAKE LOTS OF FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK!


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PETER PAN 30 YEARS LATER DISCOVERED ON FACEBOOK - of all places!


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LOOKING FOR FRIENDS TO ADD TO FACEBOOK? This one might just eat you -


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THE PEOPLE OF FACEBOOK! GOTTA LOVE EM! THE LONG UNDERWEAR MAN - complete with videos....


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THE PEOPLE OF FACEBOOK! CARRIE UNDERWOOD?


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THE STUIPID PEOPLE OF FACEBOOK status messages - Don't try to act like a whore... Your ugly. Get over it

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Very Funny Facebook status messages - can a blind man play a Wii?

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Classic Quote from Mariah Carey:- "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

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