Saturday, May 1, 2010

How to save your home from foreclosure in this bad economy - Pimp your baby!

With the current state of the economy it seems that folks will do just about anything to make some cash here and there. When your all tricked out, and all your teeth are gone you can always sell ad placement on your baby! Hey whatever works!

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Obama takes direct aim at anti-government rhetoric, Americans Now Extremely Pissed Off

Seem that the Chief is a little pissed at all the bitching we working Americans are doing these days. Although I try, and I say try, to keep this site as funny as possible, often times I have to deviated from that when I read crap such as this.

Well Mr President, When President Abraham Lincoln uttered these 11 words in his Gettysburg Address on November 19, 1863, "Government of the People, by the People and for the People" it meant exactly that.

Our Government was based on the PEOPLE. A little history 101 in case you forgot.

It seems that in the last 20 or so years that I can remember Washington has raped the people of the United States for the betterment of the super rich corporations, other country's, and most of all Politicians. So with the state of OUR Government and the thieves running it, Id say that we have every right to raise holy hell anytime we like.

If you dont like it sir, then do what you said when you stood in front in millions of people and proclaimed "Change we can believe it" Thus far I have seen NOTHING but the same old crap coming out of Washington.

If Abraham Lincoln where alive Mr. President, he would surely be on the front lines of BITCHING AMERICANS as I'm sure he has already rolled over in his grave.

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You have the right to remain silent, because whatever you say will probally be stupid !!

Garmin nĂ¼vi 260W 4.3-Inch Widescreen Portable GPS Navigator
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is watering a fake plant

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Friday, April 30, 2010

Breaking News: Arizona, Texas, Georgia and Colorado Secede from the US!

Due to all the protests and outrage over the new anti-illegal-immigrant law, and censure and condemnation from neighboring states, Arizona lawmakers have passed legislation to do what Texas had only dreamed of before... leave the United States of America.

The Arizona government has diverted funds from the old state welfare and social service agencies to build a massive wall all around the state and preparations have begun to declare every person (except the illegals) now citizen of "Draconia" as Arizona will be called.

Texas, Georgia and Colorado have agreed to pass similar legislation and join Draconia this summer.  More to follow on this developing story!

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Thursday, April 29, 2010

India Donates 100,000 Bottles of Whitening Skin Cream To Haiti

INDIA AP: The prime-gupta minister, Manmohan Singh-Ramalama-Ding-Dong, responding to international criticism that its initial donation of $2,000 was insufficient, the indian government has generously added 100,000 bottles of whitening skin cream to its aid shipment to earthquake-stricken Haiti.

“Eeendia is a kompashionate nation,” said minister Ramalama-Ding-Dong. “We notice in news that Haitians are all very dark-skinned. Darkurrr than us. Deese surely one of reasons they living in poverty. With lighter skin they could be more successful like us and work in USA then take jobs away from USA."

The donation is co-sponsored by Wal-Mart India Ltd., which has agreed to provide the 100,000 bottles of Citra Ultra White if the government provides shipping. Along with the whitening cream, there will also be 50,000 copies of Citra’s new brochure, explaining the power of Citra’s double-action anti-aging and brightening formula.

“Citra Ultra White lets you look and feel your best,” said Marlene Van PoopPoop, Wal-Mart’s regional marketing director. “Whether you’re standing in line for UN food shipments, or just sorting through the rubble of your devastated village, Citra Ultra White provides whiter skin and all-day UV protection.”

The whitening cream represents the single-largest shipment of its kind ever to a disaster-zone. Foreign Minister Sheep-Bop-aLoo-Ba-Vinjarrrinainarnnasi said that the generosity of India was evident because so many people had encouraged the donation.

“Everyone kept talking about how black-skinned the Haitians are,” he said. “At every discussion about aid, the skin color kept coming up. I see now that the initial pledge of USD 2,000 was very low because in the back of our minds we knew that these black people needed something more than just money.”

Many people interviewed for the story seemed to agree with the PM.  “I donated some money to help the Chinese after the Sichuan earthquake,” said office worker Vaginasana Pussyrasarnmit. “But these Haiti people are soooo dark-- I don’t want to give them anything. Maybe if they were lighter, like Obama.”

It is believed that the whitening cream can make the homeless, starving survivors of the earthquake look whiter and brighter in just 14 days, according to the Wal-Mart brochure. It is hoped that by looking whiter, the Haitians might be able to secure more aid.

“White skin is the key to succes in life, whether it’s job interviews, finding a mate, or being elected to office,” said OompaLoomap-Vishnu-Bupta sociology professor Urmkit Srisomwattanathip. “There’s no reason to believe this is any different.”

The Haitian government has tentatively accepted the donation, but has surprisingly appealed for more non-whitening aid.  “We have nothing,” said a local Haitian aid worker with the UN. “We need shelter, food, clean water. There are hundreds of children dying every day from dysentery. Please help us. For god’s sake, wake up and see the suffering.”

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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Photo shots from Las Vegas

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Interesting Facebook status messages! Copy and paste into your profile -The more you watch Maury the less your kids look like you.

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Cher in VEGAS 2010, ROCK ON DIVA!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to Cher Show in Las Vegas and I must say that she absolutely rocks. At the start of the show she looked right at me and gave the peace sign and needless to say from that point on I was like a kid in a candy store!

During the last song "Believe" Her ear ring flew off and landed at the end of the stage, and I was tempted to grab it up, just so I could say that I had her earring.

My buddy Pierce, told the security guard about the ear ring, and he snatched it up as many people was eyeballing it. After the show he let us touch it and take pics of it, and it was most awesome!

Folks Im telling you now that Cher ROCKS!!!!!!!!! There will never be another Diva that has lasted as long as she has in ROCK music! If you go to Vegas then you have to see the show!

And Cher if you are reading this! I was the guy in the white shirt sitting in the front row screaming my brains out! You ROCK my friend, and I hope that you got the ear ring back! ROCK ON CHER!!!!!!

Hugs! :)

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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Facebook status messages! Keep your friends laughing - if you don't know, as of today, Facebook will automatically start plunging the Earth into the Sun. To change this option, go to Settings: then Planetary Settings: then Trajectory: then UN-CLICK the box that says 'Apocalypse.' Facebook kept this one quiet

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If they took all porn from the internet,all that would remain is a Facebook group called " Bring the Porn Back!"

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Celebs undercover in Vegas? Could this be Donald Trump that I saw digging for the 69.99 fee?

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noticed a friends facebook status said that he's suicidal and thinking about jumping off a bridge. So I poked him

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Funny Facebook status messages! (Copy And Paste into your Profile)

What happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas. It ends up on Facebook.

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Farmville crash in Chicago causes mass hysteria.

Chicago. In a shocking revelation,  reports coming in from Chicago indicate that Millions of Farmville farmers on Facebook are protesting in the streets after a power outage that caused millions of crops to wither on Farmville.

The trouble started when internet services across Chicago was disrupted after a Thunderstorm knocked out power to about a million homes in downtown Chicago. Farmville farmers couldn’t access their farms and their crops started wilting.

As the news spread like wild-fire, mass hysteria gripped the farmers who could not envisage how they would repay the coin-loans which they had borrowed by paying real cash. Preliminary reports claim the protest  toll to be anything in the region of 18,000 to 19,000 people demanding that the power company pay them pain and suffering from the loss of the crops.

BlackBerry Bold 9700 Phone (AT&T)

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Monday, April 26, 2010

Ceasers Palace Las Vegas NV Photos

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Perez Hilton Spotted on the Las Vegas Strip collecting Manwhore Tips!

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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Reduce Your Carbon Footprint, Save the Planet -- Die Young!

MUNCIE – Spencer Doright, fatally struck by a bus at the age of 43, would be happy to know that his untimely death reduced his carbon footprint by 120%, his wife Janice told friends on the eve of his funeral.

The Hoosier was an avid conservationist who had spent the last several months changing his lifestyle in order to reduce his greenhouse gas emissions.

Doright was pronounced dead on the spot on Friday evening after being dislodged from the fender of a City-Link shuttle outside the local shopping center.  Now that Doright will never turn on another light, scientists estimate that his carbon footprint will be at least half that of a man who completed a typical lifespan.

“Spence was always shutting off the air-conditioner, unplugging the TV and things like that. The fact that his premature death will help the environment would have chuffed him to pieces,” his wife Janice said. 

Several scientific journals have recently published studies suggesting that shorter lifespans could help conserve the earth’s resources and that if others followed in Spencer Doright’s path it would significantly help the planet’s environment.

That information has allowed Janice Doright to take a certain amount of pride in the loss of the man who was her husband and the father of her three-year-old son.

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