Friday, May 28, 2010

Goodnight Gary Coleman - Its not the end.


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Watch out before you take a job with the Census Bureau - Watch out whose door you bang on!

Dont know if this a true story, but I will attempt to tell it the way it was told to me- And yes it is said to be true.

A mom of a mentally challenged son (Adult) called her at work and proclaimed that he had a troll in his closet and was feeding him skittles. The mom brushed it off as just some of his rantings. Well son calls mom back hysterically proclaiming again that a troll was in his closet.

Mom getting worried rushes home to see what he is talking about. She opens his closet door to find a midget in tears with skittles thrown all around him on the closet floor- The son had kidnapped a US Census Bureau taker and held him hostage, feeding him skittles.


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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Relationship status messages for Facebook- Wonders why FB dosent have a relationship status that says "Looked like a chic, smelled like a chic, Wasn't a chic" my bad....

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The Queens of Comedy

Relationship status messages for Facebook- What I meant to text: 'sweety pie'. What I actually texted: 'sweaty pig'. Proofreading: it can save relationships

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Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life

Relationship status messages for Facebook- If your relationship status says, "It's complicated", you should stop kidding yourself and change it to "single"

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After Dark

Fat Facebook status messages - Stealth Abs - When your ripped six pack is covered by a layer of fat.

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Pirates of the Caribbean Trilogy [Blu-ray]

Facebook status messages! Keep your friends laughing. Breaking news - snow white has been thrown out of Disneyland after sitting on Pinocchio's face singing "tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies"

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Beauty and the Beast (VHS in Clamshell)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Funny Facebook status messages! (Copy And Paste into your Profile) says if you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair.

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Balls of Fury (Widescreen Edition)

Smartass Facebook status messages for you to copy and paste - is wondering if a strap-on is considered as an artificial limb?

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Star Wars Trilogy

sleep is for people without Internet access.

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Facebook status messages! Keep your friends laughing. My father told me "never hit a man while he's down, kick him! It's a whole lot easier!"

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The Cow That Laid an Egg (Book & CD)

Funny Facebook status messages! (Copy And Paste into your Profile) Moving sucks! Why hasn't anyone invented Copy and Paste for real life?

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Superman/Batman: Public Enemies (Blu-ray Special Edition with Bonus Figurine) [Blu-ray]

Funny Facebook status messages! (Copy And Paste into your Profile) If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other

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Confessions of a Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated

Funny Facebook status messages! (Copy And Paste into your Profile)

The Blind Side
With today being St Patricks day,I've decided to dedicate my life to helping leprechauns clean up thier act. They're always smoking the pot at the end of the rainbow.

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Funny Facebook status messages! (Copy And Paste into your Profile)

L.A. Confidential (Snap Case)
thinks that I could have a very successful career a male model. Unfortunately, I would have to be the "before" picture. Eh, its a living.


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Facebook status messages! Keep your friends laughing

Avatar (Two-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo) [Blu-ray]

Instead of Facebook asking "What's on your mind?", it should ask "What kind of drama do you have today?"

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Texting and Driving Facebook status messages, Copy and Paste. Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to see Him soon.

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The Grim Reaper

Just scary facebook status messages for you to copy and paste- has a Playboy collection from the 70's, 80's and 90's. It's like masturbation in a time machine

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Woman gives birth at 70 mph in a Chevy Cobalt, and yes Mother was driving.

Everybody loves a great story right? Something to make you go wow, really..This lady gave birth while driving herself down the interstate at 70mph. My question is WHY?

Mr. C thinks that she probably could have pulled off an exit ramp, or even the shoulder. Would have been safer for the baby, herself and the people driving along. Spitting out baby's at 70mph? Not cool.....

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Update your Facebook with Stewie messages.. I would go to Hell but Satan has that restraining order

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Funny Facebook status messages! (Copy And Paste into your Profile) is running with scissors... makes me feel dangerous!

Running With ScissorsJump to the Front Page Holiday shopping! Share on Facebook

Bizarre Facebook status messages..Duct tape - $3.79, Shovel - $29.99, 50 lb. bag of lime - $14.99, Life without you - PRICELESS.

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The Killing Edge

Weird Facebook status messages! I wonder if gay people ever say things like "Oh my god that is SO straight."

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How to Be Healed From the Pain of Your Past

Witty Facebook status messages for you to copy and paste!

The Singlesis wondering if you can have Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time? "Hmmm....I think I forgot this before"




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Monday, May 24, 2010

Why wont Washington push BP out of the way? We can only handle one lie at a time!

OK folks, here is the latest load of crap out of Washington concerning why the United States Government wont push BP aside and take over the task of plugging the Oil leak.

The Obama administration's point man on the oil spill rejected the notion of removing BP and taking over the crisis Monday, saying the government has neither the company's expertise nor its deep-sea equipment.

"To push BP out of the way, it would raise the question, to replace them with what?" Coast Guard Commandant Thad Allen, who is heading the federal response to the spill, said at a White House briefing.

The people at the crazy house (Washington) are complete and totally doing everything they can to NOT take over this effort! It does not fit into their agenda. Does anyone remember when the Iraq's went around setting all the oil wells on fire? Guess who made it top priority to put the fires out? WASHINGTON.

So why did government become involved in HEALTHCARE?  What about the Insurance or Financial industries? Were they experts on that?  No, but it sure didn't stop them lol... this attitude toward BP makes absolutely NO sense.  All they have to do is fix this problem, by spending billions more taxpayer dollars-- and this time we actually GET something out of it, and they come out looking like heroes for once instead of the common, greedy, self-serving politicians that we all know they are.

What a load of shit these people feed us- Trillions of dollars have been BLOWN around the world- and they are saying they dont have the resources that BP has! What a joke!

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Facebook status message about celebs ----Does not want to be bothered today, banging Lindsay Lohan BBL :0

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Diamond Eyes (Deluxe) [Explicit]

Funny Facebook status messages! (Copy And Paste into your Profile) Press Ctrl+W to see something really amazing

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I'm An Son of a Bitch what's your excuse? Adult Zippered Hooded (Hoody Hoodie) Sweatshirt Fleece Jacket Large Ash Grey

Smartass Facebook status messages for you to copy and paste - My parents said I could anything I wanted to be when I grew up..so I chose to be an asshole

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Asshole: How I Got Rich & Happy by Not Giving a Damn About Anyone & How You Can, Too

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Funny Facebook status messages! (Copy And Paste into your Profile) Research says laughter can lengthen your life and smoking shortens it. So, I always chuckle between puffs.

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Apple iPad MB292LL/A Tablet (16GB, Wifi)

Funny Facebook status messages! (Copy And Paste into your Profile) The lady from the "Help! I've fallen and can't get up!" commercials should be replace with Hillary Clinton..

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Ask the Fruitcake Lady: Everything You Would Already Know If You Had Any Sense