Saturday, August 28, 2010

Facebook Daily Status Message: Cut and Paste into Facebook

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
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School principal sees nothing wrong with student dressed as Hitler

The principal of this school said that he did not see anything "sinister" in the student's choice of character. "To me it's a mountain out of a molehill," he said. 

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Men who wear panties, according to Mother Nature

 
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Paris Hilton's cocaine bust has a tragic effect on her pet

 As you can see, Paris' bad habit extends to all around her!
Her latest pet, named Harry the Hedgehog, gets high whenever she stuffs him into her purse!


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Friday, August 27, 2010

Proof Positive that SATAN posses human beings-

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Notice the hideous laugh and all the twitching- THAT LADY IS a PAWN of SATAN- LOL

People should not mess with TOM THE CAT at Applebees!

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Funny things to do at Wal-mart

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Levi Johnson running for political office? Admits he lied about Barracuda Sara? A natural for public office.


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Living proof that it takes more to be a parent than the ability to spread your legs or blow sperm. On again, off again, running for political office, posing for playgirl, doing the media circuit? There are media whores, and there are MEDIA sluts - This has to be the biggest Douchbag I have ever seen.

And the funny part he really believes that he matters to the rest of the world. He says that he isn't a liar even though he says he lied about lying. Sara Palin and her trailer park drama that she brought front and center for the world  PROVES that the entire family is whacked out bunch of Eskimo rednecks who have done pretty good prostituting themselves to the world.

For HARD COLD $$$$$- 

Elect this guy to public office! He's a natural. Imagine the drama if SHE runs for office- Talking Tom has weigh in one this one.


Thursday, August 26, 2010

Funny Facebook Status Messages TOM THE CAT

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If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?


Multipet Look Who's Talking Cat Dog Toy

Talking Tom- Answer yo phone....

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Talking Tom - The search for truth


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Vaginal Panic attacks - Dr. Oz is completely wracked out. Meds coming soon... Pharmaceutical companys jumping all over this one.

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Poor Pussy...

We live in a world where anything goes and anything is accepted. But when I seen this segment on Dr. Oz, I was completely dumbfound. What in THEE hell is a Vaginal Panic Attack? I'm not doctor - but I- nor anyone I know - has ever heard of such shit as this.

So this idiot is telling millions of viewers that women have panic attacks in the HOLE- What will they fathom next? Panic attacks in the ass? Penis Panic attacks? Hey what about belly Panic Attacks, Im sure that is the reason people hoard to Mcdonalds and eat mass amounts of Double Cheeseburgers!

Common sense rules here people- Just because Hollywood says it is - Does not mean it is. I wonder if there is actual visible signs to a vaginal panic attack? Does it move? Heavy breathing? Sweating? Calling for help?

Does holding a bag over the gapping hole ease the attack? Oh! I'm sure this is the case when Oprah opens her shows with those Loud Cow shouts! It must be an attack of the..well you know.

OH GOD! IM HAVING A HOLE ATTACK! SEE VIDEO


Bullsh*t Button

Things to do for labor day weekend? Stay at home. because I never leave my house, my guns or my pit bull. ;-) ;-)

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PIT BULL Brindle stands DOG FIGURINE Big GUY 228B

Smartass Facebook status messages to copy and paste - To put it Simply: You can't, You didn't and you're a douche

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The End of the Innocence

Did you know Facebook status messages. The average teenager sends 2800 text messages a month.

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E-Z Text Messaging 4 GrandparentsIM Abbreviations, Texting & Emoticons (Quickstudy: Computer)

Funny Facebook Status Messages to copy and paste! Everyone thinks leprechauns are so charming and delightful, but if you trap one, they are some nasty sons of bitches. And they have sharp teeth. But they love to eat grapes; that seems to be calming him down.

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Smartass Facebook status messages to copy and paste - Sarcasm (n.) - the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it. on ♥.

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Farmville RULES OF THE GAME # 4

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Farmville is a game of sending and receiving gifts, if you intend of sitting all day eyeballing your friends feeds and gobbling up all the gifts, then fully expect to do the same thing in return.

Die hard Farmville players find it very annoying when some players ALWAYS seem to get the gifts, BUT NEVER even post anything for others to fight over.

So with that said- play the game like a real farmer and not a child. Just saying.

Monday, August 23, 2010

SILLYBAND WARNING! You really dont look that cool now - Do you?

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This doesn't look so silly does it now? When I first heard of these things, I thought to myself how uncomfortable it must be to wear a rubber band on your arm. Well as with everything else the stupidity is in - Silly bands are NOT cool if your child consumes more than three double cheeseburgers from Mcdonalds a week.

I have personally seen silly bands on kids who's arms where entirely TOO big and plush to wear a rubber band- Folks stop being stupid. They are dangerous and could possibly cause many circulation problems. Silly bands is the equivalent to me trying to get my fat ass into a pair of jeans that I wore when I was 9 - It isn't happening.

Stop the stupidity- You really don't look that cool.

Camel Crush - The smokes for multiple personality disorder "BAD ROMANCE ENHANCERS"

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For those of us fortunate enough to suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder RJR now has "Pop the cap" change the taste of Camel smokes! My question is why did it take them so long? You can choose the "taste" of the cigarette with what personality you decided to be! How great is this!

They are coming out with pop the cap in the filter "crack" and even "pop the cap" Bud-light and for the "sexy" nights at the bar, they have created the "pop the cap" LOVE cigarette -

When you in the mood to be a whoreish Gigolo, it has a taste of cottage cheese and popcorn shrimp. Yes you can knock out three birds with one stone!

Have a great Monday! Rock on! " You can me could write a bad romance" :0

Bad Romance - The RemixesLady Gaga - The Monster Ball Tour - Photo Print - 8 x 10

Funny Facebook Status Messages to copy and paste! sweating like a cat at a Chinese restaurant

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A Life in Cats: Confessions of a Crazy Cat Lady

Status updates for Facebook! I'm not sure what causes more destruction, a F5 tornado or my 5 year old daughter on a sugar buzz?

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Music From The Motion Picture Twister-The Dark Side Of Nature

Funny Facebook Status Messages to copy and paste! has just been sworn in as the "new" King of Pop.

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The Vodka Diaries - Search for truth

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When gummy bears are soaked in vodka until they expand and soak up all the vodka so if you eat enough of them you can get a little whoreish. I do it everything and I operate a subway rail car in Chicago. Makes the day just disappear.

Eric from C. Thanks..

Black Forest-Gummy Bears, 6lb. bagWorld's Largest Giant Gummy Bear Cherry

The Vodka Diaries - Search for truth

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Idiot America: How Stupidity Became a Virtue in the Land of the FreeUpon my relentless pursuit of knowledge (which has actually became a hobby for me) - I stumbled upon some interesting facts about Vodka that I'd like to share.

Me being raised in a cult (Southern Baptist) was never afforded the pleasure of being around a bunch of drunks, hence that is why things like this is interesting to me.

Did you know that Vodka was created in Russia from potatoes and that in Russia it's called "Russian Water"  Funny because I was raised on my knees (shut-up) in a potato patch digging up those damn things every summer.

Wish I had known this at the age of 9.

Vodka makes folks do incredibly stupid and sometimes funny things. It lowers inhibition to the "GET NAKED" and say things that otherwise would be kept hidden. Females have a low tolerance for Vodka from what I have observed.

Men on the other hand will pick a fight with an innocent stranger or pull out their "stuff" all the time thinking it is something to be proud of. Or smash the bottle over some senior citizens head at Walmart.

Women while under the influence of Vodka and in a rather large group of friends will spout off such things as "Hey did you know Amy that I fucked your boyfriend" Retarted teens who drink Vodka will go and burn down a building or something.

Some even report that it makes them "Strong and Clever" Hey! Lets go work out!

Whatever your reason is for consuming fermented potatoes - Do it with caution. Send your stories! We would love to publish them.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Funny Facebook Status Messages to copy and paste! Changes to the Tax laws in 2011 - 2,000 credit for everyone who plays Farmville! Bout time! :)

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Funny Facebook Status Messages to copy and paste! I started playing the new Facebook game, Oilville, but now I can't make it stop.

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Funny Facebook Status Messages to copy and paste! Alcohol doesn't solve any problems; but then again, neither does milk.

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Funny Facebook Status Messages to copy and paste!

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if you're ever feeling down just remeber: you were that ONE sperm that made it.

Chart Toppers: Romantic Hits of 60's

Funny Facebook Status Messages to copy and paste!

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it's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now sounds a little better than, it's 1:15, I'm trashed & horny...

Need You NowNeed You Now


Facebook drop DEAD blonde BOMBSHELLS

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What do you call a mangled ball of flesh, bleach, latex and gasoline? You decide- Look very closely at what's in between her fingers.

1.9 million dollar Sweepstakes from Uncle Sam - no flat tires need apply!

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Two entrepreneurs in South Florida went way too far in billing Medicare for penis pumps to help impotent men, according tocharges by the U.S. attorney in Miami.

The men run companies called Charlie Rx and Happy Trips that submitted $63,000 in bills for, er, male vacuum erection systems that resulted in more than $28,000 in payments by Medicare, the Miami Herald reports.

Citing indictments returned earlier this year, the government says the two companies fraudulently billed Medicare for nearly $1.9 million for all sorts of medical equipment and medicines. They received about $735,000 in federal payments.

Glad it was STOPPED- It was reported that the fraud started under the Bill Clinton era..Go Figure

Funny Facebook Status Messages to copy and paste! I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And that's when the fight started.....

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A Little Death In Dixie