Saturday, April 9, 2011

Lady Antebellum rocks, But guys can we get rid of the skinny jeans already? Just a thought.

Christie's to auction Liz Taylor jewelry, art! All that money, all that hard work- Going to auction!

Christie's to auction Liz Taylor jewelry, art - Yahoo! News

Just imagine what she could have done with that while she was alive! People vs Things! Welcome to America!

How do I know if my relationship will last?

There is one sentence that IF said should be the biggest red flag to a doomed relationship. "I will be here for you always" RUN like Hell! Mr. C is full of wisdom.

Wisdom found on Twitter! I know it's ironic and hard to believe, but the ones that profess, "I will be here for you always" Are the one's that will FK you over before anyone else...Just sayin.

This world is coming to an end.. Volcanoes, floods, earthquakes, Justin Bieber..

Funny Facebook Status Messages - I wear an eye patch when I download music illegally.

Do you really know who your talking to on Twitter and Facebook?

Funny Facebook Status Messages - once cops get smart enough to put a breathalyzer test at the end of a Taco Bell drive-thru WE'RE ALL SCREWED

Twitter updates! Live now. Pay later.

Facebook Status! I need a ( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ ). I skinned my knee when I fell for you!

Funny Facebook Status Messages, has a request…if something should happen to me would someone change my status and harvest my farm town crops?

Funny Twitter updates! Gotta [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] to make you Holler

Scream Triple Pack (Scream | Scream 2 | Scream 3)Scream 3 (Dimension Collector's Series)

All my Children getting canceled? What will the world do! Susan Luci can play in the Alien vs Preditor! Look at that windpipe! Dang Girl!

The star of ABC’s "All My Children" has played Erica Kane since the show kicked off in 1970. Now, according to industry blog, the 41-year-old soap opera may be facing cancellation. Ratings are reportedly at an all-time low in the 18- to 49-year-old women demographic, and they're down 34% from last year.

Perez Hilton to write Children's Book.

The celebrity gossip blogger announced Tuesday that he will write a children’s book with Penguin called, “The Boy with Pink Hair,” the Los Angeles Times reports. 

Penguin says the book is about “a child born with a shock of fabulous hair that sets him apart from his peers.

While some find this difference hard to accept or understand, 'The Boy with Pink Hair' uses the opportunity to find what makes him special and share it with the world.”

By GOD if Perez can do it, so can I! I will start writing my memoir today! "Why I married the town whore" 

Cher's POOL Party! And she invites, guess who? ME!

C me there? 

Chers cowboy boots? Well UGG Boots?

Daryl Hannah owes $US62,622 in unpaid taxes GIRL don't millions need this money so they can sell the EBT cards for CRACK!

Daryl Hannah owes $US62,622 in unpaid taxes | ENTERTAINMENT News:

Kate Middleton doll? This is just how "OUT of TOUCH" governments are with the people!

Make sure you run out and get you DOLL! She's got the glossy, chestnut hair, the blue silk dress, the jewels -- and she could be yours, for a princely $195. I would buy one, but only to practice my Voodoo! Get the pins!

CNN! Breaking News! Budget deal reached. From Mcdonalds? What is wrong with this picture?

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Glen Becks resume rejected by Charlie Sheen

Glen Becks new JOB! He and Sara Paling are going to become evangelist!

GLORY! Coming to Tent in a cornfield near you! Glen Beck Tent Meetings! The offering will be TAX exempt and most people will be stupid enough to give up freely a day's wage! Stay Tuned!

Glen Beck moving in with Sara Palin? Torrid affiar

BREAKING NEWS! Rumors over at Fox News is that Glen Beck has died in a skiing accident! Any Truth?

Earthquakes in Japan? United States Government shutting down? Are we near the so called END OF THE WORLD?

Well, I don't know about all that but it seems to me that Wal-mart could be ground zero here in the United States  Let me explain. It does not take a rocket a scientist to realize that Wal-mart gets 99.5 percent of all that junk from  CHINA.

So with that said, why has there not been one media report about the radiation levels inside Wal-mart stores! I mean common sense would tell you that if China has radiation levels registering in the air, then would it be so impossible to think that the shit we ship here could be laced with radiation?

Just imagine what would happen to the WORLD if it were discovered that there was radioactive Sponge Bob square pants boxers hanging there just waiting to get into an unsuspecting shoppers little buggy.

Think about it.

7.4-Magnitude Earthquake Strikes Off Japan; Tsunami Alert Issued

Mexican tattoo artist Maria Jose Cristerna

I never believed in Demonic Possession until now. Where is the pope when you really need him.

White House says shutdown will delay pay to troops - Yahoo! News

White House says shutdown will delay pay to troops - Yahoo! News

This is crazy! What have we become? A nation of complete IDIOTS!

Funny Twitter updates! The more I hear Donald Trump talk, the more I want to staple his fingers to his face.

Dreamweaver? Ok Why am I dreaming that I'm trapped in a factory of WOMEN who genetically alter PIGS to look like human women? They were all chasing me and clawing at me when I fell...Terrified...Shaking...

The Diva Code: Miss Piggy on Life, Love, and the 10,000 Idiotic Things Men Frogs Do16" NBA All-Star Miss Piggy Plush Doll ~ Muppet ShowMiss Piggy's Aerobique Exercise Workout Album

At first I thought I was just lost- I got off work and I backed my car the wrong way into a big pile of barrels in the parking deck,When I got out of the car, I was in a factory and  was running around trying to get out, I seen this lady sitting a dimly lit office and She motioned for me to come to her, and Thought, Whew HELP ! 

So I went and when I got into her office she jumped up wielding a KNIFE and when she jumped up the lower half of her body was like a PIG and she starts snorting and running at me

So I hid, and then discovered I was NAKED- and she pops her head through the wall where I was crunched down , she cant get me as her head is poking through- SHE YELLS AT ME! WANNA SEE WHAT WE DO HEAR? I SAID GET AWAY FROM ME BITCH! SHE SCREAMS AT SOMEONE






I will never eat Hersey s kisses again before bed- NEVER.

NEED A HOB IN NC? US Air To Add 200 Jobs In Winston-Salem - Project Economy News Story - WXII The Triad

US Air To Add 200 Jobs In Winston-Salem - Project Economy News Story - WXII The Triad

Wonders what will happen to celebritys when California drops in the ocean?

America wont know what to do?

What is the future of America?

These photographs were taken using Kodachrome film by the improbably and wonderfully named Chalmers Butterfield, probably in 1949.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Funny Facebook Status Messages - Found three slices of Kraft Singles under my pillow! The Kriste Alley Fairy is TRUE

Kirstie Alley's Big Life (DVD Set)For Richer or PoorerFat Actress - The Complete First Season

Zarha Baker suspect to seek change of venue

Attorney: Murder suspect to seek change of venue -

"It's too bad Zarha didn't have the option to have a change in venue.."

The Cher Twitter Hour! Follow Her Today! Sexy, Savy and completely Cher!

Mary Kate And Ashley's evil Twin crashes party! I want my $$ I WANT MY MONEY!

Mary Kate and Ashley's evil twin..Shal

Twitter updates! They shld make cell phs w/ those big ass buttons that old phs have. Sure, ur ph would be the size of a cinder block, but still

RIP Bill Cosby.

Funny things found on Twitter!

Monday, April 4, 2011

What would you do for $5

Check it out!

The secret of achieving your dreams - The funny thing YOU already know what is holding you back in life, and you are still trying to hold onto it because of fear of the unknown, let it go- Then you will achieve your dreams. Just sayin....Let it go.

Funny Twitter Updates! says I've said it before and I'll say it again! Those are not my toys, and I don't know why they're in my bedroom! ;-)

Funny Twitter Updates! With all the technology available now, you'd think they'd have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.

How to find the perfect JOB! Get a face lift! Plastic surgery resurges as job seekers try to look younger - Apr. 4, 2011

Plastic surgery resurges as job seekers try to look younger - Apr. 4, 2011

Like I said, ONLY in America!

McDonald's to hire 50,000 workers, starting April 19 - Apr. 4, 2011 ONLY IN AMERICA! The quality of living just keeps getting better!

McDonald's to hire 50,000 workers, starting April 19 - Apr. 4, 2011

Need a JOB?

Factories having trouble finding skilled workers - Mar. 11, 2011

FWD: on Twitpic

Twitter updates! could talk a glass eye to sleep!

Charlie Sheen has every crack whore in the world getting accounts on Twitter!

Funny Facebook Status Messages - says With great power comes a great electric bill

I'm looking for creative things to do with empty dominoes boxes? Ideas?

Twitter updates copy and paste! Screaming children has made me really love the sound of the vacuum cleaner.

Twitter updates copy and paste! Puking is my body's way of saying, "Now there's room for more booze!"

The Funniest Facebook Status Message! wonders...if you were a hotdog, and you were starvin', would you eat yourself?

Fun things to say on Twitter! The best revenge is success, or laxatives in cookies

Fun status messages for Facebook! I am addicted to updating my Facebook status. The first step is admitting I have a problem, right??

Chicago was voted as one of the least friendliest cities in the country. well i'm from chicago so fuck you!

WIKILEAKS releases cables about the North Pole! Dear kids, There is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents. Sincerely: WIKILEAKS

Smartass Facebook Status Messages! I just got back from a mile long walk in your shoes and I still think you're a douche bag

He's BACK! Barrack is Running! Change we can believe in again.Breaking News and Opinion on The Huffington Post

Breaking News and Opinion on The Huffington Post

Oh Brother, Where is Ross Perot?

Funny things to say on Facebook! says I tried to change my password into "penis", but it says "too short"

Sara Palin 2012? A servant's heart?

'I'm through,' Palin says

"I am tempted to because I am still wondering who is going to be out there with a servant's heart, willing to serve the American people for the right reason. Not for ego, not for special interests…I am waiting to see, who else is out there willing to do this."

A servant's heart? Are you kidding me? Sara Palin if you think that you represent the American People then you're more of a loser than your daughter is on Dancing With the Stars! You sold out Alaska to become a Media mobile promoting yourself and your Family to the highest bidder! This Sara- is TYPICAL career politics at it's finest! 

You would be great with the status quo- in Washington! GO back to Alaska! Be a servant to your kids- NOT FOX NEWS!

NTSB: Cracks found in 3 grounded Southwest planes - Yahoo! News

NTSB: Cracks found in 3 grounded Southwest planes - Yahoo! News

This is real simple, CANCEL all FLIGHTS FOREVER.

Charlie Sheen replacing the Burger King Dude? Really?

Charlie Sheen Booed Off The Stage At Live Show In Detroit

Charlie Sheen Booed Off The Stage At Live Show In Detroit

Charlie Sheen YOU are an  IDIOT! But the people that actually paid you are COMPLETE IDIOTS! What a JOKE. Crack Head.

Sheen Detroit

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Mary Kate and Ashley Third Sister!

Student Punished for Outing School Secretary as Porn Star

Student Punished for Outing School Secretary as Porn Star

What is it with porn and teachers?

Funny things to say on Facebook! NEVER got to Walmart without a camera!

Twitter says, I’ve been waiting 2 hours for an employee to come and wash my hands like the sign says….

Funny things to say on Twitter! If I had money to blow, I would hire two private investigators to follow each other.

Funny things to say on Twitter! says you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up